I don’t mean how the course is structured, what it will cover or what you need to do to pass.
This isn’t what you need to know.
I mean the important things – the things no one tells you – the things I wish I’d have known the first time I went on each of these!
- You will spend approx 6 weeks grapevining. Constantly.
- To bad music.
- And by bad music – I mean the type of music I love- I loved the sound track for my ETM. I believe I am in a minority of one on this.
- You will get DOMS – specifically in your calf’s (blame the above grapevining).
- On day one you will realise that moving to the beat is one thing. Talking at the same time? Different matter.
- It’s ok though because on day 2 you’ll start to get the hang of this.
- You will start putting together your assessment class and decide a knee repeater is the best move ever and design your whole routine around it. It’s going to b the most creative ETM routine EVER. A masterpiece.
- Then you’ll realise how hard it is to find five progressions for a repeater knee and pick another move. Any move. Probably the box step.
- In fact you will have a grapevine and box step in your routine – I’m willing to put money on it.
- The practical days are long.
- On day one you will take a packed lunch of spinach and carrot juice. Because fitness instructors are healthy. And role models.
- On day two you will take bread and Haribo. Because bread and Haribos will ensure your survival.
- You will start to consider injecting coffee into your eyeballs as the weeks progress.
- You will bribe friends into letting you practice on them.
- They will tell you how amazing you are doing. Even though you’re still shit at this stage.
- You will cry. At least once.
- And by once I mean probably at least once a day.
- On the assessment day you will do your assessment plus take part in several others. Everyone there will be slightly shell shocked with how hard 3 hours of old school aerobics actually is. I return to your calf’s. You will probably cry.
IMT (Les Mills)
- You will spend more time learning your allocated track than you ever spend learning entire releases going forward.
- You will write a script that Shakespeare would be in awe of ahead of your first presentation.
- During the first morning you will realise you need to say completely different things to what you’ve scripted and have to start again.
- You are going to have to introduce yourself and your mind will go completely blank when you try to recall an interesting fact about yourself. Everyone else will do the same and you will think you are the most boring group of people in existence.
- You will remember the magic powers of Haribo (pic n mix also works well as do Jelly Babies) from ETM and will have come prepared this time.
- Remember coffee? Yep still vital.
- You probably signed up to do this course because you thought you were OK at the class right? Wrong – the technique session will convince you otherwise.
- You will second guess any answer you go to give to any question – What is a layer 1 coaching cue for a squat? What would you say in a class introduction for Body Combat? What is your name? No idea mate.
- You will feel like you are about to fall asleep around about 3 pm both days – hello Haribos.
- You want to be perfect. You will panic because you aren’t – you will probably not pass because you definitely don’t move like Lisa O or Rachel. You do not need to panic about this. I mean you don’t move like them but you don’t need to.
- There is an exam on Les Mills on day 2 (kind of)!
- You are going to have to get used to group selfies. Because these are part of instructor life and if you don’t have a selfie at the end of a course they don’t update your result on the portal so
DVD Submission (Les Mills)
- Passing the IMT will definitely be the hardest part right? Erm sorry mate but no.
- Nobody likes filming for certification – but there’s no way round it, not even bribery, I’ve tried!
- You will practice and script this release to the point you will be able to teach it off the cuff for the rest of your natural life- and probably for several years after you die.
- Then as soon as the camera is on you will mess up the first rep of the warm up. Even though you can teach this in your sleep.
- You will film on average 276 times before you are happy with it to submit for your first programme. This number reduces dramatically as the number of programmes you teach grows.
- Someone will walk in half way through the warm up. They will probably position themselves in front of the camera.
- It is the law to wear full on Reebok for these filmings. If you wear Combat gear for a Pump DVD or vice versa you will be put on a special watch list and may not pass.
- The camera will probably stop recording half way through the class- this will be the class that is perfect and you would have definitely submitted on.
- It may take you several weeks to get a filming you are happy with. It will then take you six months to upload it onto the portal.
- During this time you will come across Jon from the office. We like Jon.
- When you pass if you don’t post your certificate on Facebook with an Oscar Style thank you speech they withdraw certification (perhaps).
*Please note some of this “may”be a bit tounge in cheek