My plan was to take a photo diary of what really happens at a Tribal Gathering whilst at the Liverpool Tribal Gathering this Saturday.
Turns out I’m rubbish at taking photos though and then even more rubbish about getting around to using them.
So here is the written version of what a Tribal Gathering / One Live / Les Mills Live/ GFX is really like:
- You will start the day in your best Reebok, hair washed cleaned and down (maybe straightened), there may be make up- all of this will last approximately one track into your first class.
- After this it’s endless top changes and baby wipe showers and an increasingly messy pony tail – depending on your mascara choices you may end up resembling Alice Cooper. The toilets start to resemble your bedroom
- Except for some girls who somehow manage to maintain perfect hair and make up even as they are coming out of a GRIT session – these people are aliens
- There will always be ladies cooking small humans who make exercise look more effortless than you do (respect here!)!
- Noone wears Nike… or Adidas
- In fact 90% of people will be in not only Reebok but the exact same outfit- picking people out of a crowd will be like playing Where’s Reebok Wally
- Body Pump is the first class of the day… for everyone… it’s the law. Unless you opt for Body Balance first… the Body Balancers are odd and us Pump people don’t really understand them… why would you stretch at the start of the day?????
- Everyone has a Polar or Fitbit… otherwise I’m pretty sure your training doesn’t count
- Everyone will have a bag half the size of them. It will contain every piece of gym kit they own plus enough food to feed a small nation
- Bumbags and bands on water bottles- say no more
- Everyone brings some form of sweets- Jelly babies, Haribo, pic n mix… it’s actually the law to consume sugar on days like this (normally whilst sat on the floor exhausted by life)
- 20% of your day will be taken up with eating said sweets plus buying and inhaling coffee
- We gather in packs for this refueling and create much mess
- You spend another 20% of the day running past people you haven’t seen for months whilst yelling greetings
- With the odd catch up towards the end of the day when you’re now too tired to dash to classes and accept you might be late for Combat
- Another 20% is taken up with selfie taking (often on other people’s phones ahem)
- There obviously also has to be a picture on stage after a class so it looks like you just taught it… here’s Lou pretending she just taught Sh’bam….
- 10% of your time is spent trying to work out where room 2 is
- In the rest of your day you may do some classes! Perhaps … just one or two…. Or y’know – 5…
- Then you will get the required group selfie- otherwise you put all the calories just burnt back on plus 10%
- If you’re me you will not do a single class you booked onto but end up in random things like Barre because you got over excited and followed someone. You may not even know the person you followed
- You meet at least one person for the first time even though you’ve been Facebook friends for 3 years
- You find out your friends have hidden talents during Sh’bam then force them to perform for you whilst you take photos
- All of this is done in the knowledge that you will be able to eat the mother of all cheat meals that evening (before the cake in this bag I had an immense hot dog and chips!)! All fitness instructors basically train to eat. If they tell you they don’t they are lying.