- Doing a class at home is a hundred times harder than teaching a class in a gym.
- It’s also really hard to not just stop half way through a session at home and start doing random household tasks… like dusting your lightshades!
- You may find yourself randomly looking around the room and randomly smiling at nobody as you do a class at home.
- You’re probably already wondering if you’ll remember how to teach when gyms reopen.
- When gyms closed you thought to yourself I’m going to have all this time to learn the new releases, I may even script.
- Two weeks in you haven’t touched them and have realised you’ll still probably leave it until the week before to learn them.
- Logging into a quarterly webinar and not being able to talk or be seen on camera seems weird now we are all Zoom experts.
- You’ve listened to so many different explanations of why we can’t use the music to teach classes online you should be a PPL PRS music licencing expert but actually you still don’t really understand because Zumba don’t seem to be having the same problem.
- You have however strangely enjoyed doing a bit of freestyle teaching or body weight training.
- You’ve probably taken up running.
- And if you were already a runner you’re now shocked by the number of runners you now see out each day. Like really, I used to be able to run in my park without passing a soul now it’s like the Great Manchester Run out there!
- You are now coming to the realisation that you can’t eat like you normally do because now you’re not always on the move. You miss classes and members of course but secretly this is why you really want to gt back to teaching as soon as possible.
- You’re worried your chocolate consumption may mean you won’t be able to jump when we return.
- You’ve actually wondered if Smart Start also applies to the instructor.
- You’re already starting to dread the DOMs you will feel after that first class back.
- And the saddle soreness!
- You don’t need to wear gym kit every day now but you still do. Because that’s all you own.
- You still randomly instinctively put batteries in your basket at the supermarket and you will have a battery stockpile by the time you return to teaching.
- Listening to other music is a revelation.
- You miss you class members and realise that teaching is really only about the people, the rest of it is all just pointless stress if you take a step back and look logically. In the last week before gyms closed and we knew every class could be the last for a while nobody cared if you got things wrong or your coaching wasn’t perfect, we all jut moved and enjoyed it and went for it because it served a benefit to all of us at a stressful time. We stress far too much about silly things normally and when we return we should all remember this.
So here in the UK we are now coming up to a week into lockdown and a couple of weeks of concerted social distancing. This has without a doubt had a dramatic impact on so many aspects of our lives. I briefly did a blog on working last week but being a fitness related blog I wanted to take a moment to talk about how I’m approaching my fitness during this whole thing.
Obviously everyone will be different and depending what equipment you have at home and what your goals are how you approach your training and diet right now will vary.
For me, like a lot of people I would imagine, I have no equipment at home, very little space indoors and my garden is not really suitable for exercise (it’s all gravel) although there is a car park which I can make use of on the grounds.
So with that in mind I’ve decided to approach my training by forgetting about maintaining strength or fitness, forgetting about trying to improve in any particular way. Instead I’m focusing on just moving and using moving in a way to feel good, stay mobile and benefit my mental health.
My general plan of action is to do a little yoga flow in the morning, go for a short run at some point to get some fresh air (literally 2- 3 km or some intervals / sprints/ pyramids) at lunch time and then do either some body weight training fro 2-30 minutes or an online class such as Les Mills On Demand in the evening. This does mean I’m doing much less each day in terms of exercise but I am still keeping myself ticking over and feeling good.
Stretching and mobility work is going to be really important. I’m sitting a lot more and my new set up of home working is not good for my posture so it’s vital that I stretch more often to avoid discomfort.
My real challenge is going to be my diet.
I normally walk a lot- I do 25,000 steps or so without trying a day. Last week not only did I train a lot less but i also moved a lot less in general. My step count was closer to 5,000 steps.
I’m therefore burning fewer calories. So i know I’m going to need to eat less. I can’t control not being able to go to the gym. I can’t replicate my training at home. I can’t move as much as normal with one opportunity to walk or run each day. I can control how much I eat.
So I’ve tried to cut my calorie intake by around a fifth. The first couple of days that was tough but I am moving less so I’m not lacking in energy from it. This is the strategy I know that will stop me feeling like a potato by the end of lockdown because I’ve done much less than normal and eaten the same or even more .
So in a nutshell that’s my plan – it might evolve, maybe it will change but right now I have a strategy to help me feel like I’m drifting aimlessly or getting wound up because I cannot replicate my normal routine.
What’s your plan of action for the next few weeks?
I wrote this blog one year ago. At the time I’d just written a blog about periods and teaching group exercise and it had highlighted that there are plenty of topics out there that affect lots of us but never get talked about. Talking about these things can help us, whether that be by letting us know we aren’t alone or by teaching us how other people have dealt with experiences either giving us tips or reassuring us that what we feel isn’t unusual.
As part of this I then wrote this blog in collaboration with Jo Brickell- Haggen. This was one of the blogs (along with ones of period and smear tests) that made me really want to write about topics that are often ignored overlooked to try and encourage conversation which will hopefully help people who are experiencing the same things.
Because of this I’m really proud of this blog and one year later I thought it was a great time to republish it. I know it’s a strange time at the moment and really the current health crisis is at the forefront of most of our minds but that doesn’t mean we can’t still talk about other aspects of life (and sometimes a break from CoronaVirus is welcome right?).
So below is the blog all over again…
The blog also bought to attention the numerous other changes the female body goes through that also affect how we train, how we teach classes and how we feel about our bodies.
I decided I wanted to explore this a little more, because I do believe that the first step to improving understanding on issues which are rarely spoken about is to start talking about them. I have no personal experience in some of these changes however, and this blog has always been about my personal experiences.
So I reached out to a friend who is both a group exercise instructor and a new mother to try and understand what effects on training and teaching giving birth has had.
Jo gave birth to Jasper in October 2018. She remained active throughout pregnancy, still teaching Pump until close to the birth and continuing to lift weights and train in Crossfit during pregnancy. She returned to teaching last week (Pump again to begin with).
I know from conversations throughout her pregnancy she was very realistic about getting back into training and teaching after the birth, she wasn’t expecting to be back to pre – pregnancy shape within days or weeks and was always going to approach things sensibly. Her experiences post birth are therefore helpful in appreciating how, no matter our knowledge and realism, there are numerous effects which impact instructors returning after giving birth that we might not give a second though to.
“Your alignment is WAY out and no muscles are connecting or firing up so your joints hurt”. Effectively a new mother has to start again in terms of movement, re-learning how to walk is a reality for some mothers. No matter how much someone might want to get straight back to teaching within a few weeks, giving birth isn’t something your body can just bounce back from.
“When you can walk for 30 minutes and your insides don’t hurt it could be time to start to exercise again. Meanwhile all your pregnant fitness, despite training to the end, has gone because it’s taken 8 weeks for your wedding cake sized uterus to shrink down to the size of a marble again”.
Many of use have had injuries and then had to regain our fitness following some time out. Post birth you’re adding time where you cannot train on top of recovering from the physical trauma the body goes though giving birth.
This is of course true for all new mums, but for those who need to bounce about as part of their job, the task of getting your body moving in even a basic way again must be daunting, and having the patience to allow yourself to heal when your income is dependent on you needing to move again must add an extra layer of stress for some.
Jo highlighted the core in particular as a physical challenge post birth. Now how often do you tell your class to brace their core in the average 45 minute class?
“Training can begin. Only nothing connects. So life is banded muscle activation. Body weight. No impact. And all the core… All you want is intensity but rowing 200 m cuts you in half – literally no core”
As instructors most of us are aware of what to advise our members: check with your doctor / midwife, wait until after you 6 week check up, lower back and core will feel weak, joints are still more supple than normal so injury is still a greater risk.
I’ll be honest until I spoke to Jo about this I don’t think I realised HOW weak someone’s core could feel to them (I’ve limited experience within my classes of members who are post natal). Every woman is different of course but I for one feel like if I have a recently post natal member in my class having a deeper understanding from someone’s real experience will help me be a better coach.
“There’s me thinking I would be teaching at 12 weeks”
Jo was sensible and listened to her body, rebuilding her fitness over time, re- adding in new skills week upon week to build up to a point she could train confidently again.
But the side that probably gets less attention (because we all tend to focus on the physical – our jobs being to train people’s bodies) is how you feel teaching post pregnancy.
“You have no brain. Your brain has been solely focused on building a new human for 40 weeks… You can’t even think straight. Why are you in this room? Who are these people? Not to mention your mini human is here and you’ve never had one before so keeping it alive is now your sole purpose… Researching EVERYTHING 24/7. You forget to eat. You can’t even get out. You have to plan 6 hours in advance to take a new born out.”
Most people, whether they have had kids or not, probably understand to a degree that having a young baby is exhausting. I cannot imagine learning Body Pump whilst my brain felt like this. My brain almost explodes during new release time anyway so the pressure of learning and retaining chorey at a time when you don’t feel mentally sharp anyway must be exceptionally tough.
“Then there’s the…. I hate my body. It hurts. I look shit. I’m not me. I’m a human incubator that will never be me again depression”.
I discussed in my recent post about periods that feeling of standing in front of people wen you are on your period and that yucky feeling that makes you want to fade into the background – not have 30 sets of eyes on you (someone described it well as feeling exposed). Again here, this is another time when even once you feel fit enough to teach you also have to re- find the confidence to lead despite not feeling confident at all.
Apart from who will look after the baby whilst you train, prepare to teach (even teach in the early months before child care is arranged!)
Sleep has a big impact.
More specifically – You don’t get any.
“No rest in the day. No rest at the night. So you’re always under fatigue. So classses seem daunting … and you can’t remember any choreo”
I don’t want to pain a negative picture of training or teaching after giving birth, personally I felt like Jo took to motherhood like a duck to water and nailed it!
As Jo says:
“Train at home . Order food to be delivered online. Join a gym to take baby with you. Gather your support network. Express milk so you can rest and partner feed. Take one hour everyday away from your baby. Plan your meals. Have a routine. Be consistent. And most importantly TALK ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS”
This plan meant that when Jo came back to teaching she loved it and felt great about it, so it’s not all doom and gloom at all, but by understanding the stresses and emotions surrounding training and teaching in the months after giving birth we make the fitness community more supportive and inclusive and allow us to also potentially understand our members better. We can also understand so help to provide support to those who may not necessarily seem like they need much encouragement.
There is so much more that could be written in relation to periods, pregnancy and post pregnancy and our understanding of these effects (beyond the standard what modification can I give to a pregnant lady in Pump understanding). I’m also aware that there are PTs who specialise in pre and postnatal training and some PTs who understand the effect of the menstrual cycle extremely well on training.
What you don’t see very often is discussions of the real effects of these natural physical processes- both physical and mental. How they affect the more mundane aspects of training or teaching.
We can all rectify that. By talking about experiences we can empower others, both showing them they are not alone in feeling a certain way and also by educating each other in a way that we might be able to better understand both our fellow instructors and also female members.
Thank you to Jo Brickell- Haggan for providing the content for this blog and allowing me to share her honest experiences so freely.
I remember one evening from my childhood, my nan and grandad were babysitting and we’d stayed up late to watch a Disney film (I want to say the Little Mermaid) and after the film the news came on. The coverage was about the Gulf War.
I’d guess that meant this was around 1990 so I would have been around eight. Eight year old me watched the news about this war (with a limited concept of what war meant that was basically confined to the two World Wars) and imagined bombs would soon start falling just like the Blitz. What I vividly remember confusing me most however was what golf balls would have to do with a war.
This is what happens when you watch or listen to things where your understanding is limited and you put two and two together coming up with twelve.
It’s an extreme example, but in reality how many little misunderstandings over the years have crept into your brain and now exist, as ‘facts’ when they are actually not true at all.
Carbs are bad for you, eating carbs after 6pm will make you put on weight, fat is bad for you, lifting weights will make you bulky.
You think you understand how to eat and train to reach your goals, and on the whole you probably do, but perhaps there’s something in your head that you’ve just misunderstood, something that you are doing which you think is helping but is actually hindering your progress.
Often when having a chat with clients about their diet and setting some goals to work towards, the client will go away and make those changes but weeks later still be clinging onto an idea of something else they also should or shouldn’t be doing, largely because it has a mythical ‘fact’ status in their mind.
So perhaps they’ll have worked all week on hitting a calorie deficit and eating a certain amount of protein (agreed goals), but then even though they’ve done this be upset with themsleves because they don’t feel their macro split is exactly right (idea stuck in the head that precise macro splits are vitally important and not hitting that split means all the calorie deficit wins are pointless).
It takes time and effort to retrain yourself to not revert back to the misconceptions you have lived with for many years, but if you think about it my ridiculous misunderstanding of the word Gulf and Golf is no more ridiculous than some of the ideas we have developed over the years about how we should eat and move.
On Sunday I’ll be appearing on Ricky Long’s podcast talking about the fitness world in general.
One of the things we talk about is Slimming World, I myself did Slimming World before I became a fit pro and feel like I have a decent understanding of it from many angles because of this.
This wasn’t the focus of the podcast so I went into a lot less detail that I could have so I wanted to delve a bit deeper into a point here – it’s not enough as fitness professional to say what’s wrong with slimming clubs – we need to look at what we ourselves can do to help people who may otherwise have turned to such clubs
I did a podcast last year which you can listen to here, where I spoke about my own personal experience of Slimming World and what I think is wrong with the system.
Rather than rehashing that here I instead want to talk about something I’ve touched upon both here and in my upcoming podcast.
Slagging off Slimming World doesn’t help people.
When I needed help I went to Slimming World, I didn’t go to a PT – the idea intimidated me and didn’t feel accessible. All these perfectly nice people I know now would have intimidated me- me now would have intimidated me. I wouldn’t have gone to a fitness event or gym because I’d have felt like a fraud like I didn’t fit it.
Sliming clubs felt accessible for me. That’s why I took that route.
I eventually found training and with it learnt about nutrition and left Slimming World and am where I am now. BUT for that to happen took PTs and group ex instructors who didn’t criticise the route I’d chosen to take, they didn’t point out in distaste all the things that were wrong with Slimming World. They educated me within a framework that allowed me to see why Slimming World can work on a energy in / energy out basis and allowed me to come to the realisation that I didn’t need the club and see the faults for myself.
There weren’t Facebook groups back then for Slimming World but to be honest if there had been and some people had come into them and attacked what was, at the time, working for me I’d have probably defended Slimming World and I wouldn’t have felt like I wanted to go to those people for advice.
In short – as Fitness professionals I think we need to find a balance between exposing myths and educating people without making them feel stupid for trying to reach their goals. How I see this…
That PT thinks everything about Slimming World is stupid
I do Slimming World
So they must think I’m stupid
I’m not going to them to help
In attempting to help there’s a real danger we actually alienate without meaning to.
Now actually Slimming World can be successful in that it creates habits that lead to a calorie deficit. It’s not unsafe or faddy as diets go.
It doesn’t educate.
But you know what – I played rugby for a while, no idea of the rules I just ran at people.
Would I have been a better player if I knew more – yes. Did I still play? Yes.
I honestly don’t know how the best way to go about it is, but I feel like supporting and understanding peoples choices creates an environment of trust that might convince people away from Slimming World and into training and understanding basic nutrition more than simply laughing at the notion of syns, body magic and star weeks ever will.
I’ve just recorded my latest podcast.
This is all about my thoughts on recent conversations surrounding fitness.
It’s not unusual to review your life at the start of a new year and decide what you are happy with, what you want to change, what you would like to achieve within the coming year.
Often we want to lose weight, earn more money, travel more and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with any of those things being motivators.
It’s understood by most people who work in any kind of field where motivation is key (fitness is a great example) that people are more likely to meet those goals when they genuinely want them for a real reason that they feel some real passion or connection to.
So if you want to lose weight you’re more likely to achieve that when the reason is improved health or to be able to play with your children than because you think you probably should be a size 10.
Not only are you more likely to achieve a goal when there’s a purpose behind it, it’s also more likely to make you happy.
What about when one of your goals is to help other people?
As a society we are sceptical of anyone offering help, the saying you don’t get something for nothing springs to mind. When people offer things for free we tend to immediately assume there’s a catch.
But sometimes, some people’s purpose does involve, in part, just helping people.
Again fitness is a great example of this. It’s an area that many of us who work in it feel real passion about. We want to help people, bust misconceptions and encourage. Now of course we need to earn money too, so we have to charge for some things. But equally a lot of us want to help and will happily provide a lot more for free than you may get in other sectors. Hell, it’s a little selfish because the feeling you can get for knowing you made a difference is some people’s purpose in itself.
So today I wanted to highlight one fitness professional who does just that, and this year has (in my opinion) stepped it up even more.
Lauren McDowell is a Les Mills instructor, who has long been a Tribe Coach (a position where instructors volunteer time to mentor other instructors) and is well known on the instructor social media groups for providing technique videos and feedback.
This year she seems to have stepped it up a notch. After asking on Instagram what people wanted help with she has already produced videos on Body Combat kick technique which anyone can view (check it out here).
But beyond that she has also started producing regular simple and practical tips aimed at people starting out or getting back into a fitness journey.
None of this makes Lauren any money, but she believes and is passionate about encouraging others to participate in fitness and doing it in a way that you enjoy and makes you feel good.
I have the pleasure of working with Lauren as part of Jump 4.2, which has a massive support network for instructors, all helping each other out, and she is also always available to support everyone in that group.
Lauren is of course one of many fit pros I know who provide so much help to others beyond the selling of their services, and they do this because part of their purpose is to help others. They can keep helping people even when they get nothing concrete out of it because it serves their purpose and they feel they get value from it regardless.
So back to my original point, there’s absolutely zero issue with your goals being money motivated or weight orientated but to achieve them you need to be motivated, and to stay motivated those goals need to mean something to you. Sometimes what you realise means something to you might not make sense to anyone else, sometimes the value you get out of a goal may not be physical but mental. Having a clear idea of your purpose will however help you make 2020 a year you get closer to your goals and those goals making you happier.
Equally, your goal really doesn’t have to be what you’d normally expect. Could it be to help more people or help specific people, rather than get a promotion or drop a dress size? Would that create a fire in your belly that pushed you to achieve your goal?
You can of course have a mixture of goals and I’m not suggesting becoming Mother Theresa here, but thinking beyond the norm of New Years Resolutions could help you find something your truly passionate about.
I’m pretty confident one of Lauren’s goals is helping more people this year (I’m sure she has others). You can help her teach more people by checking out her Instagram here, and if you do Combat do check out her technique videos!
So you have decided you need a PT.
Time was that meant going to your local gym, now though there are other options as more and more PTs offer online training too.
So which should you pick? This is my opinion on the pros and cons of live v online PT (note I do a bit of both so perhaps that makes me biased, perhaps more objective I don’t know!)
– If you’re new to training a PT with you as you train will help build your confidence
– They can review and correct your technique
– They can keep you motivated
-Making an appointment with someone makes you get to the gym
– Expense – you are paying for an hour of that persons time, if you want to do that three times a week that’s going to cost a bit
– If you have experience in the gym you may not always need someone with you
– You have to fit training around both your schedules so it’s not particularly flexible
– You are limited in options as you need to train where the PT works
– If you are confident in the gym it provides you the coaching and guidance you need without someone watching over you – you can still get feedback on lifts, advice
– Complete flexibility as to when you train
– Often cheaper than live PT
– Can be completely tailored to you – giving you as much or as little support as you desire
-Allows you to pick a coach from anywhere and train anywhere
– If you aren’t sure about training this option can be harder (although not impossible with many coaches offering videos etc for guidance)
– You need to motivate yourself to get to the gym and train and be honest about what you are doing.
- Work out how many calories you burn a day on average and eat this many (to maintain weight) or 20% less (to reduce weight)
- Swap one of your sugary snacks with a healthier replacement (e.g. a piece of fruit) each day. And yes I know fruit has some sugar in it but a banana over a Mars Bar will help you cut calories and provide less of a post sugar slump.
- Stop having cheat meals. Cheat meals create a restriction / binge / food as a reward mindset. Eat whatever you want whenever you want within reason without viewing food as good and bad.
- Eat protein. Aim to eat 1 to 1.5g of protein per kg of body weight. Will help you feel satisfied without overeating.
- Drink at least 0.033 litres water per kg of your body weight each day (so if you weight 60kg drink two litres a day). Fat loss, performance, whatever your goal- hydration is so important to your health.
- Don’t exercise at all at the moment? Aim to complete a 30 minute session every week for a month, two 30 minutes sessions a week the next month and three 30 minutes sessions the following month. Boom = Exercise habit created.
- Increase your NEAT. However much you exercise aim to increase your non exercise movement by at least 10% each day over the next few months (i.e. walk more)
- Get more sleep. Enough sleep every night will help with weight loss, stress, energy levels. Seven hours is goals.
- Learn something new. Want to learn to do a handstand, swim, play netball? Working towards mastering a skill will get you moving without exercise being the main goal itself.
- Set yourself a challenge. Run a race, do a Tough Mudder, compete in a swimathon. Setting a challenge can give you the incentive to get to your training sessions and maintain focus.
Do you make New Year’s Resolutions?
Up until a few years ago I did – I’ve made many New Year’s Resolutions over the years, in fact honestly I’d make the same resolutions year after year which I never kept.
These days I don’t make New Year’s Resolutions as such. Here’s why:
January is a shit time to make drastic changes
It’s cold, dark and everyone is depressed and skint after Christmas. It’s a rubbish time to decide to suddenly make drastic and often restrictive changes to your life. Result is you feel miserable two days in and give up. Planning to give up chocolate on January 1st when you probably have a shed load of left over chocolate in your cupboards is practically setting yourself up for failure. Deciding not to drink in the most miserable month of the year so you’re left sitting on the sofa instead of going out to catch up with friends is going to become unappealing quickly.
Resolutions tend to be negative
Generally we say things like I’m going to give up… sugar, wine, chocolate, smoking. It’s something we are NOT going to do anymore. This means we feel like we are depriving ourselves. Depriving yourself is rarely a long-term plan for success.
Resolutions tend to be vague
I want to lose weight, I want to get fit, I want to earn more money. They are goals / outcomes we’d like to reach yes, but they aren’t very specific and how and when they will be achieved isn’t always clear. How often do you make vague plans with a friend to ‘catch up soon’ only for that catch up to not happen? It’s not because we don’t want to catch up it’s just because we’ve been too vague for anything to actually happen. Resolutions can be a lot like that.
Resolutions end up leaving you feeling worse about yourself
If you don’t succeed then you feel like a failure. Yet if you set something too restrictive and ambitious you’re unlikely to stick to it and so you’re essentially setting yourself up to feel shit.
Negatives out the way – I fully believe in improving things – here’s what I think is better than making New Year’s Resolutions and why:
Change when you are ready
There’s a popular saying that if you’ve thought about it you’re ready. Right now, 2 days before New Year Day – if you’re thinking about stopping drinking fizzy drinks – stop. Right now. Why wait until Wednesday? If you want to start running start running – these things aren’t banned until January 1st.
If on January 1￼ you don’t feel ready to make a change but do a couple of weeks into the year start then, or in February or August or October, you haven’t got to wait until 2021 if you miss 1st January this year.
New Year’s Resolutions have the idea of starting at midnight on 1￼ January – change can however happen at any time. How often do you think I’ll start my diet on Monday and eat a weeks worth of food over the weekend knowing restriction is coming- you ‘could’ start a diet on Thursday (well we ‘could’ not call it a diet at all but that’s another blog altogether). Generally change that happens when you’re ready as opposed to an imposed time tends to be more effective.
Choosing to make positive changes
Positive changes are easier to put in place than ‘I won’t’ type changes. I will drink more water, I will eat vegetables with every meal, I will walk 10,000 steps a day. These are things you are going to do – so you do them and you’ve created a change. You might have also eaten ten chocolate bars but you’ve still eaten vegetables with every meal, the change has still happened. Positive changes make us feel better and so we are more likely to stick to them.
Goal setting over resolutions
I don’t make resolutions any more but I have sat down and done some goal setting for 2020. I have decided what I want to achieve, these are specific goals so they aren’t things like ‘I want to get fitter’ they are set things I’d like to get done, some will be quick and relatively easy others less so. Along with these goals I have made detailed plans of what I have to do to reach these specific goals and planned out realistic timescales for taking these actions. I’ve asked for feedback from people more experienced than me on these plans and discussed goals that include other people with them so we are on the same page. I know what I need to do personally and professionally in 2020 and how I plan to do it. I’ve got more chance of reaching these goals than if I left I chance.
Specific, measureable, achievable, realistic and time specific. If you goal ticks all these things you’re more likely to be able to reach it.
Commit to creating habits / systems instead
If you want lose weight you could think of it as working towards creating habits that in turn help work towards weight loss. Make drinking more water, creating a calorie deficit and training three times a week a habit and you will achieve your goal but you also find it is something that starts to fit into your everyday life as opposed to something you have to work towards constantly. The benefit of this is you can pick one small thing to work on then once that has become a habit work on something else, building change gradually.
Re-framing how you think
Take a non fitness resolution (because it isn’t always about weight!) ‘I want to get over my ex and for them to see me looking happy.’
You could re-frame this thought process to what would make you happy? Seeing your friends more perhaps? So instead of I want to get over my ex you could say I want to go out and do something fun with my friends once a week / fortnight / month (commitment depending here). Instead of focusing on becoming happy or getting over someone you could just commit to doing something that has the potential to make you happy and allow feeling happy and getting over them to happen naturally – all the time your still succeeding in your actual goal of getting out and socialising. It sounds very self help book but when you start to habitually re-frame your thoughts, you start to find it easier to make changes.
I’ve made lots of changes to the way I approach things in recent years– old habits die hard admittedly but by looking at making changes in a more positive light you can create a you that you are happier with without setting a single resolution on New Years Day!