It’s OK to be Uncomfortable

Something to remember about losing weight, or mastering a new lift or sport or class or starting anything new fitness releated.

I often write that it needs to be sustainable and allow for breaks and blips and not be super prescriptive.

Too often though we can take that message to mean that we shouldn’t feel any discomfort.

The fact is if you need to consume less or move more it is, at first at least, going to be a little uncomfortable. You will feel hunger or achey or a little deprived or tired.

If you stop as soon as you hit this point because, YOLO, you will never create the changes required to change your body and fitness.

When we say it’s about balance don’t forget balance has two sides to it and as well as giving yourself freedom within your diet and exercise you also need to be able to exercise restraint and spend some time in discomfort too.

Golden Handcuffs

Blog 9 of my mini series…

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At the end of February (feels like a life time ago now) I traveled to Belfast to attend the Only Just media Summit. This was just as Corona Virus was starting to become a ‘thing’, before Social Distancing had become a ‘thing’ and the week that Northern Ireland had just had their first case.

The event was a full day of speakers, all experts in their fields, talking to a room full of bloggers, Vloggers, content creators and brands. My plan immediately after the event was to write some blogs on the speakers and my key takeouts. Life then got in the way, CoronaVirus exploded and took up all my time at work and this idea got left in the notes section of my phone. Until now.

Today is the blog nine of ten where I want to outline my key take outs for the day.

Why? To be honest it’s probably multipurpose (like that kind of cleaning product you but to clean the kitchen and bathroom if like me you are not a ‘Mrs. Hincher’. Partly I think it will help me solidify the key points I took away from the day, because although I’ve not written about them here until now I have started to take action. But also because I think you as the reader could also benefit from these takeouts. You might not be interested in branding or social media or content creation but some of the ideas I took away could just be useful for your approach to your job or you life in general.

So introductions over today’s blog will focus on the talk given by Tyler Babin, creative resident at Adobe and former creative for Gary Vee.

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Among other things Tyler talked about how being happy is strategically better than making a strategic decision for financial gain.

When you are looking to make changes in your career, whether you be self employed or employed it can be easy to look at the route that will offer the most money in the least amount of time.

But Tyler talked of this being like ‘golden handcuffs’ in that you get material value from this route but it can be detrimental to your mental health and your happiness.

It can sometimes therefore be better to look towards opportunities that align with your values and benefit your life in a more rounded way and work towards monetary goals this way instead. Whilst undoubtedly taking longer, you are more likely to enjoy what you do during this period or growth and so get more personal value from it and be happier in general. This in turn can make you more willing to put the work in to reach your ultimate goals.

I think this is an important idea to remember, we live in a society where we are used to getting things instantly and encouraged to attain high salaries and buy a lot of material things. In tandem to this however we also live in a society where mental health problems are common and many people report being dissatisfied with their work life balance.

Therefore taking a step back and deciding what works best for you, rather than what on appear looks like the best option, could make you happier in the long run. Of all the messages from this Summit I think this is one of the most powerful.

Jump 4.2 – Week 6

Week 6 has been unremarkable.

OK so that sounds a bit crap.

It’s not and here is why.

I’m about to tell you why every programme or diet or plan you’ve ever tried and not completed has gone wrong.

Because nobody, and I mean nobody, does 8, 12, 16, 24, 52 weeks with no bad days or slip ups or missed workouts, unplanned meals, tasks not quite done at 100%.

What we are all prone to doing however is starting things with very good intentions and because we’ve paid for this we are going to do it perfectly and become a new person.

Have you ever seen that clip in the comedy Miranda where she tasks about being the type of person to jog, power walk to work, eat fruit and home baked muffins? I mean if you haven’t do you even have a sense of humour? I digress however- this is the type of optimism you start any new plan with. Then life happens (as I’ve said many times before) and you have that bad day / week and feel like you have failed so quit – that programme is clearly not for you… or it’s the wrong time…or you’re rubbish.

I’ve done this, like I’m not pretending I’m the exception here.

Now though I’m a bit different, I’ve approached this differently.

I knew that I wouldn’t be ‘on it’ for 8 weeks. I thought about maybe starting at a different time but at no point would I have 8 weeks to be ‘on it’, so I just started.

This week, much like the last six I’ve been ok. I’d say I’ve done most of the workouts, eaten ok 805 of the time and done the mindset tasks throughout around 80% of the time. Some days I have done things I’ve planned, some days I’ve not at all and some days I’ve kind of done them.

I’ve not transformed myself into a different person.

I have established a few more habits that I’m happy with – and when I say established, I mean started to establish- like they aren’t 100% embedded yet but habits take time and sometimes you slip as you work to set things in place.

So this week has been unremarkable- I have no amazing lightbulb moment to share.

I’m still working through the programme though, I’m happy with my progress, and I’m happy this progress is going to be longer lasting than any dramatic quick fix would be.

Post Marathon Blues

Today’s blog topic is a request (possibly my first ever topic request!) and is focused on the Post Marathon Blues.

This doesn’t just need to apply to marathons, it could equally apply to people who have trained for any big sporting even (half marathon, 10k, big swim or cycle, triathlon, a show, a tournament- anything where all your focus for several months has been working towards being in your peak physical form and at the top of your game for one specific event).

How we feel after an event is not something we tend to focus on. We put lots of thought into preparing for things and on the day itself and even on the immediate recovery in the hours or days after a physical event.

But many people report feeling a bit down in the weeks after a marathon or other big event. Words like lost, aimless, flat, down, void, lacking in motivation come up in conversations. It’s a lot like that feeling you get when you come back from a holiday and the realities of normal life hit you and now because the holiday has been and gone you don’t have anything to look forward to.

This is due to both physical and psychological reasons.

Physically the day itself will probably have left you feeling extremely tired, a cumulative effect of weeks of training hard and the extra effort of the day itself and you may have picked up blisters, bruised toenails and niggles which don’t help make you feel great about yourself. Your endorphins will have been high during the event and as you settle back into normality this can have an effect of how you feel as you struggle to replicate the high you felt in that moment again.

Mentally, you no longer have the event to focus on and that can leave you feeling like life has no meaning or focus after months of everything you do revolving around training (can’t go out Saturday have a long run on Sunday morning, can’t eat that as I’m in training and so on). It can make it harder to you to motivate yourself to eat well or train as you no longer have that reason for doing so. Many of us thrive on routine and having something meaningful to us to work towards and once you reach your goal where do you go from there?

Thankfully, these feelings tend to only last a few weeks and people normally spring back to their normal self but there are things you can do to help yourself feel better in this situation and feel the positivity you probably expected to feel after your big achievement.

Celebrate

Plan to do something nice to celebrate your achievement – a massage, spa break, celebration meal. Take time to congratulate yourself for what you achieved so it doesn’t feel insignificant now.

Book something nice

Similar to above, you could consider booking a weekend break or holiday- something to focus on that is nice and not exercise. This is bound to improve your mood

Reflect

Think about what you achieved, all the positives and even what you would have done differently in hindsight. Think objectively about whether it’s something you would like to repeat or if once was enough. That way if you choose to train for the same event in the future you know what pitfalls to avoid and if not you know you can confidently say once was enough. Sometimes reflecting on your feelings can give you more ownership on how you feel and help you both make decisions and manage your emotional responses better.

Recover Properly

Get a sports massage, continue to eat nourishing food (and enough of it) to help the body recover, stretch, get some good quality sleep and take some time to just sit and chill. Any sporting event which take a toll on your body requires some proper mindful recovery in the days after to help you feel better physically which in turn will help you feel better mentally.

Do some low impact exercise

Don’t feel like you need to be back training he day after. A week or two off could be exactly what your body needs. If you feel the urge to exercise though try and stick to low impact options which place less strain on your CNS. You may want to try some yoga or similar during this time.

Don’t run for a couple of weeks

Similar to above, a couple of weeks not doing the exercise you have just trained hard for can be beneficial, both in allow you to physically recover but also give you that little bit of excitement when you do go back out for that first run after a couple of weeks.

Find a new challenge

After a couple of weeks when your rested and refreshed this could be the time to think about what comes next. Another run of the same distance, a step up to the next distance (Ultra anyone), maybe looking at trying something new instead. Setting your next goal will give you a renewed sense of focus.

Above all, don’t stress about feeling a bit blue after a big event. It’s human nature and being sensible and kind to yourself is the key to letting it subside.

Equally, if you suffer from depression anyway, don’t let the idea of post event blues put you off training for an event. Research has shown that having something to aim for and the training and self care associated with that training can be beneficial in alleviating the symptoms of depression and as long as you are mindful that you might feel a bit down immediately after the event and have your coping strategies in place this should have a generally positive impact on your mental health.

Social Media, Mental Health and Living Your Best Life

Social Media isn’t reality, did you know that?

It feels like recently there has been a lot of acknowledgement that people tend to post a ‘best of’ of their lives of Instagram and Facebook- nights out, impressive meals, pretty hotels etc. and that can sometimes make us feel bad about our own lives; that we are perhaps not exciting enough, successful enough, interesting enough.

More people now, possibly in response to this, post more mundane / normal things on Social Media (if you want to know what I’ve eaten at any given time check my Instagram stories and there will be a not very attractive meal that may or may not have some nutritional value to it but to be honest is likely to involve cake, because I’m a fitness instructor and like to fuel my body with foods that provide it with value but I also really really like cake). That’s good right- fewer perfect lives and more normality will make people feel less disheartened?

But actually does it? Is my account any different from someone living their best life? I would say my social media is reasonably warts and all, I post the days I eat the food I planned but I equally post the unplanned cake and chocolate. I post pictures on nights or days out but my Twitter account, which is basically a tool for complaining to Northern Rail about their ever worsening service, demonstrates that my daily commute is far from glamorous and my days are simply long most of the time. Yet even I unwittingly self ‘airbrush’ my own life. In what ways? Well, obviously not everything I do or eat gets posted, so I might not specifically hold back certain things and post others, but what I do post can’t totally reflect my day or who I’ve seen / spoken to or how I feel (I’m a historian by degree and we will tell you that all historical accounts are subjective so this isn’t something new with the advent of Facebook). If I’m feeling a bit anxious or down for whatever reason I’m a lot less likely to post anything, so it’s not that I always feel OK and sarcastic as my accounts may suggest, just that my response to not feeling on top form is to withdraw a little rather than tell the world. So even if you follow people who are pretty open and honest you still don’t see everything.

This make me sound like I’m not keen on Social Media but that isn’t the case at all. I use many forms frequently and find the positives outweigh the negatives for me personally most days. But nothing is cut and dry.

Social Media allows fitness professionals to talk to people openly beyond the clients in their gym and there are many excellent fitness professionals, both well known on Social Media and those only known more locally, who provide great insights to people for free. This can potentially then encourage someone to go and seek out more advice and make huge strides in their fitness journey. Equally, advice and posts could be misunderstood or someone could take advice that was meant for a different demographic to them and not get the results they want. So positives yes, but we also need to be careful about what we say and promote.

Social Media can connect people who would otherwise not have met and provide opportunities to get advice and mentorship from such people and allows businesses to connect with clients on a more human level. Equally it can cause debates and misunderstandings as people don’t know each other to understand why they have those opinions or view points because their situations are different. It often appears easier to argue with someone you never have to see and that can create an environment where people feel more able to say things they wouldn’t in person.

Social Media has opened up conversations around mental health. Now I’m still a little dubious about this. I like how people feel more comfortable talking about it. I am less keen on how sometimes when people do post things about their own mental health they can be met with well meaning but not necessarily helpful reactions. It’s tough to know whats really going on behind even the most honest of status. I think being aware of the emotions of the people we talk to daily is a better way to show support to others. Watching out for the signs that suggest that someone is maybe a bit stressed or anxious is possibly going to be more helpful on a realistic level. However well meaning, we aren’t doctors or health care professionals and whilst listening to people express their feelings on Social Media can help both break down barriers and make the person in question feel heard / better understood, it also encourages us to offer advice – which might end up being helpful but equally could not be. Our feedback could end up being harmful to the person posting. Nonetheless the reduction in stigma surrounding mental health issues is a positive thing.

Social Media can help keep you motivated. I know of many social media accounts which responsibly promote building a healthy mindset and teach hacks and systems which allow you to approach life’s challenges and which don’t try and fix whether you are ‘happy’ or not (if you are interested I can direct you to some people). Equally however there are well meaning posts that show a happy picture and a quote about only wanting to deal with positive vibes. Those posts are probably normally quite personal to that individual and reflect what they are feeling at that moment and are not a dig at others. Yet I sometimes feel they could have a negative effect on people who maybe at that point do not feel positive. Because let’s acknowledge that depression means you don’t always feel positive but that this doesn’t mean you are a ‘negative’ person. In reality we all have days when we don’t feel 100% positive and that doesn’t make us negative people. Sometimes we don’t need to be told to be more positive we just need to be able to vent or have a rant and clear out our mind / work though our thoughts. When we post on social media we don’t always think how our words could be interpreted by others, nor can we be held responsible for how someone else takes our words of course – this is just another one of the double edged swords of the medium.

Like real life, Social Media isn’t all great and isn’t all bad – it’s messy and can be viewed differently day by day. So in reality how we respond to anything whether it be something showing someone’s ‘best life’ or someone posting something real and honest is going to depend on how we feel ourselves that day and on any given day the same post could be viewed as inspirational and motivational or equally something which makes you feel a bit shit. That’s our internal reflection of what we see more than what is actually posted.

So yes, sometimes accounts may only show the best bits, but I think all accounts however honest and real can affect people in different ways regardless iof intention.

How do we deal with that, because for a lot of us, Social Media is a part of life and just dropping out isn’t necessarily an option we want?

Well in part I think just acknowledging that Social Media is always a life through a filter or a censored opinion – even when we think it’s totally real- it’s just not possible to be 100% real via a computer / phone or photo, even when you try. I go back to history as my example, as a historian all sources are tainted by subjectiveness – be they propaganda materials or diaries and personal testimony.

Some people are more honest and open in how they use Social Media though so you could look to pick people to follow who match with your values and make you feel better / empowered rather than crap – people who will talk to you, respond to questions with honest answers. If there are people on your feed on any site who make you feel rubbish you can remove them or mute them (because you may not be able to remove your mums neighbour three doors down without causing awkwardness in the supermarket).

If we choose to use Social Media for positive it can be a great addition to our life, it just needs to be something that we are aware of how it affects us and react accordingly to that. That means breaks when needed and setting boundaries that work for us (because everyone’s limit will be different).

Beyond that, I believe working on our own emotions and head space is a really important thing. How we train, eat, feel can be impacted by Social Media only so much when we are in the best place we can be at the time. How often does a post trigger you into a mood on a bad day but on a good day you’d find the same thing funny? That is why when I don’t feel so great I spend less time talking on Social Media. It is also why I haven’t just invested time and money into my physical well being but I also work with a trainer on my mindset as well – our wellness is a much more rounded package than just our bodies.

For me systems and creating habits in the real world, which help me respond differently to triggers than I used to is the key to then feeling healthy towards what I see on Social Media (and beyond).

This blog started as one thing and then sort of meandered elsewhere so apologies for the random nature of what has essentially been a mind dump on how I feel about Social Media and mental health, but as I said I have systems in place that help me process my own thoughts and sometimes this blog ends up being one of them … so here it is a very public social media style way of considering social media.

Also – sometimes we just do nice things and want to post them for people to see. So as reflective as I have been sometimes we really just had a nice holiday and want to share!

Would love to hear your thoughts – whether you agree of disagree!

International Women’s Day 2019

It’s International Women’s Day.

To me today appears to have different meanings for different people. For some today is about celebrating the achievements made towards gender equality whilst acknowledging there is still work to do and working towards changing that.

For others it’s a day where we all tag other women on Social Media in a show of solidarity. Nothing wrong with that, it’s nice to support and acknowledge the people in your life you admire and appreciate.

But why don’t we make a choice to do that not just today but for the next 364 days of the year. If someone deserves recognition give it, if someone needs support offer it. ‘Strong women fix each others crowns’ and other such quotes don’t have to be confined to today (or the days following a break up). Next week or next month when you find yourself thinking something judgmental or bitchy about someone (be honest, no matter how kind you are generally we all do it sometimes) stop yourself, re-frame your thoughts and return to the positive female empowerment expressed today.

And take a moment away from all the tagging today to consider the theme of this year’s IWD (every year there is a specific focus) #BalanceForBetter. Working towards gender balance. What can we all do within our own ecosystems to work towards gender equality, today and everyday?

And Gender Balance – that means it requires men’s input too.

IWD used to annoy me because I viewed it as limiting the importance of half the population to one day. Now I see it as a chance to refocus our understanding on how we interact with one another both female to female and female to male and use that understanding every day.

P.s. To all the companies who use taglines about female empowerment and strong women today whilst promoting an unrealistic and unhealthy ideal of women the rest of the year. Shame on you.