Boris Cancels Christmas

It’s becoming increasingly clear to the viewers that despite the writers running out of ideas they plan on dragging out 2020 well beyond series 12 when it was all originally meant to end. After setting up the Covid being furloughed so we can all have Christmas plot line they’ve suddenly gone rouge scrapped that and decided to return to the lockdown idea for a third time.

This time though they’re trying to trick the audience that it’s a new plot line by calling it tier 4 and restricting it to the South for now, where a new strain of Covid, Cockney Covid, has been discovered. Now some might argue that Cockney Covid has been introduced to absolve London of blame for the rising R rate. Northerners spread Covid because they’re feckless, the South are in the situation because of Cockney Covid. But we have all been asking when Covid 20 will be released, and let’s face it when Apple issue an iPhone update there’s always issues so Covid 20 was always bound to cause a few glitches.

So Boris has cancelled Christmas. Tier 4 can’t do anything, the rest of us can only do one day which to many is basically the same as not being able to do anything, Wales and Norn Ireland are locking down, Scotland are barricading the boarder and we’re all wondering why Boris can’t be put on Furlough before he causes any more mayhem.

So the real question now is what Tier will you be in next December? Tier 5 where you can open the window but can’t go in your own back garden, Tier 7 where you’re allowed to go for a 15 minute walk outside once every fortnight or Tier 10 where if you so much as look at someone from another household Matt Hancock comes round to give you a stern telling off. Of course in all these tiers these rules won’t apply on the third Tuesday of every month, when it rains, between 1.13pm and 2.24 pm on every second Friday or if your name is George.

Now get ready for 11.59pm on December 31st when the clock ticks over to 11.60pm December 31st and we all hear the words welcome to level 13 of Jumangi … 2020 continues…

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