You Control You

I feel like my posts this week have been quite deep so I thought I may as well keep to the theme (don’t worry next week I’ll write about falling falt on my face doing box jumps or something).

I feel like I’ve changed and progressed a lot in the last twelve months and most of that has come from a change in mindset. I’ve written about this previously in various forms but essentially I’ve just started doing little things, considering certain questions I hadn’t thought about before which has led to me taking more control of my outlook and emotions.

What are my aims- for this week, month, year, five years, 10 years?
Why do I want to do these things?
What is my purpose for doing what I do? What purpose will doing these things serve and will it get me closer to my aims?
What do I need to focus on right now to get to where I want to be?
How can I use my goals to motivate me to do things right now?

By starting to think about these things and structuring my life around these questions I feel like I’ve started to gain more control. Even if things are not perf6ect right now there is a purpose for what I am currently doing which fosters a more positive outlook that before.

There are lots of things that happen in life I can’t control of course but I can control me and my reaction to those things and turn those reactions back to focusing on my why and purpose. This is so much easier said than done and I often have blips where it doesn’t quite happen immediately but building mental fortitude takes time.

Have a read of this email which pretty neatly sums up where you can start with thinking about your why:

Why?: https://mailchi.mp/08cb9784151a/free-workout-316403

Fat Shaming – a Real Life Story

A couple weeks ago I was walking down the street at lunch time (on my way to buy an icecream… errrr… I mean an apple …) and a man called me fatty. Literally. A stranger. Just called me fat.

Now I’m not skinny but I’m not fat by any means. I’m quite strong and reasonably defined – but not overweight.

I am also apparently quite thin skinned because this throw away comment really ate away at me all day and knocked my confidence a lot.

I’d not had the best week food wise (and was on my way to get icecream) so it fed into all my negative perceptions of myself, because I already felt a little bit out of sorts.

I mulled it over several times in my head and with people before I felt better about it. I wanted to write about it at the time but to be honest it actually knocked my confidence too much to commit it to paper.

A few weeks later and with some perspective, I want to make two observations about this comment.

First, for your own mental wellbeing learning when not to give a shit matters. I lost so much of my day being upset about the opinion of someone I’ve never met. More to the point it wasn’t even an accurate comment because I’m not fat – would I have been so upset if he’d have said today is Tuesday (when it was in fact Thursday), an equally inaccurate comment? Of course not. Even more importantly – if I was fat his opinion on the subject still wouldn’t matter.

I’m healthy and fit – what anyone else thinks of my choices surrounding my body or lifestyle are irrelevant as long as I am happy with what I’m doing.

Second, setting aside point 1, we should all be careful with our words. I’m almost positive that man thought nothing more of that throw away line. I mean yes, it was unnecessary and mean, but he probably never gave it a second thought. Yet it affected me for hours- knocked my confidence, bought up insecurities. If he had thought about that would he have still said it? Perhaps… but I think he was probably just a dick to be honest.

What we say without thinking and see as insignificant may mean more to and affect the person we are talking to in a much bigger way. That doesn’t mean we should never speak our mind- sometimes people get too easily offended- and we can’t be held responsible for how others interpret our words and their meaning. But. If we know something could be taken negatively (calling someone fat for instance- a pretty sure bet) and there isn’t an actual need to say it – why do it? Even if you think it’s not a big deal- it could be to the person you are talking to. It’s just spiteful. Be a nice person not a prat.

So the next time someone decides to shout an insult at me in the street (I’m sure it will happen some people are just idiots) I shall ignore them and be happier for it knowing I’m more in control of my own feelings that I was just a few weeks ago.

So really the man did me a favour.

Body Pump Aim 1 Take Out: the content is more interesting than the title I promise

This weekend I re-did my Body Pump Aim 1.

If you aren’t a Les Mills instructor – Aim 1 is effectively a one day upskill where we look to improve our own technique and our coaching. We also teach a track twice during the day and get feedback.

Normally one of the UK trainer team takes the course and there are around 5-15 people in attendance. This one was a bit different because the Creative Director for the programme, Kylie Gates, had travelled over from New Zealand to lead the day along with several UK trainers and there was over 100 people in attendance who has travelled to Woking (Surrey apparently!) from all over the country.

There are so many things from the day I could write about so I may revisit the day in more depth again in future blogs when I’ve had more time to process the information, but I wanted to touch briefly on a few of the things I took from the day.

Body Pumper or not these things apply to everyday life.

Own your Strengths

We tend to be very quick to look to our faults. When we review our performance in most things in life we look to what we could have done better or where we need improvement. That self awareness is great for self improvement but we also need to look at what we do well, the skills where we own it, our strengths; because when we work towards these strengths we can get the best results possible.

This isn’t being vain and thinking we are better than others or have no faults, just being aware of what we do contribute and do well. I have recently been working with someone who’s strength are very different to mine – I would say we are both aware of each others strengths and we work accordingly – as a result we get more done and we get it done well.

Know you purpose

Why do you do whatever you do? What do you want to get out of it? What do you contribute to the world?

When you know this it can shape how you approach your work and your interactions with people. Until recently I didn’t really know – I kind of just bobbed along. Now I have a clear vision of what I would like to do ultimately and why I want to do it.

Placing that at the centre of how you interact with others can both enhance your relationships, create meaningful connections with people and make it easier to start working towards your goals.

Be present

We generally aren’t great at hearing. There is a difference between listening to someone and hearing what they are saying, making an effort to understand what they are saying and where they are coming from.

One of my pet hates is when someone asks you a question then ignores the answer. Either interact with my response or don’t ask to start with – because asking me a question but not listening to the answer makes me feel irrelevant to you. Whether it is a personal or professional relationship, nobody likes to feel irrelevant.

Yet we all do it to varying degrees – we are busy and feel like we don’t have time to focus on the person we are talking to. When you say it like that it actually sounds as crap as it can make people feel!

We did an exercise where we had to listen to our partner speak for 60 seconds without responding or interjecting – do you know how hard that is!?

I’m taking away from the day that I need to get better at this – if I’m talking to someone they are to be my focus and I need to be present in that conversation rather than mentally multitasking. One thing I noted from talking to Kylie was that when she spoke to you it felt like she was focused on that conversation – like it was important- and that makes you feel more positive. I want people to feel more positive from talking to me.

When you have passion for what you do it’s easy to find your ‘people’

This is possibly the cheesiest thing I’ve ever written (I’ve almost made myself throw up a little) but it’s actually very true.

When the tickets for this event were put on sale I wanted to go but was aware that the distance from Manchester meant it would be expensive. A friend of a friend who also teaches Pump was in the same position – we had come across each other in Facebook groups but never met – so we decided to share a hotel room to reduce the costs.

Some people thought the idea of sharing a room with, effectively, a stranger was weird, and I think we would both admit that we were a little nervous beforehand. In the end it didn’t feel strange at all. We slipped easily into conversation and it felt like we had known each other for ages.

It shows that when you share the same interests and goals with people, it’s easier to feel comfortable with them and like you belong.

No Jazzy Title, Just an Honest One Today

I’ve struggled to train recently. I’ve also struggled to hit a calorie deficit in the last few weeks, having some really good days food wise and then some days where I’m dramatically overeating all the wrong stuff. This has coincided with not feeling 100% myself.

I don’t know why – nothing has happened to make me feel down and there hasn’t been any reason for my training or food intake to be affected. Often I find the two go hand in hand though – so if my training or diet isn’t great I will feel a bit low and when I feel a bit low I’ll eat my bodyweight in chocolate and train less.

I’ve realised that I, like most people I imagine, get myself caught in self – destructive cycles where if one thing isn’t perfect it feels like nothing is right, and in turn I let myself sabotage other areas of my life. I get a downer on myself where I feel like everything I do is substandard. The last few weeks I’ve questioned myself on so many things that to others may seem ridiculous and been upset about things I should have brushed off.

One thing I’m getting better at though is recognising this in myself, because this is when you can step back, get some perspective and draw a line.

Realistically I’ve still trained 2-3 times every week for the past few weeks, as well as teaching and running a half marathon – so I’ve not really been lazy.
I’ve finished the last two weeks in a calorie surplus which isn’t great, but I’ve hit my protein goals and I’m not overweight so I’ve not done any lasting damage.
I’ve been a bit down but I know I’ve had some stressful situations to deal with plus been poorly so this isn’t the start of something terrible, I’ve just let myself get a bit stressed.

What I’ve started to try and do when this happens is train – no pressure- just go to the gym and do something (and enjoy it) and then eat nice but fresh food that isn’t processed and sugar filled. Normally I’ll start to feel more positive quickly just from this little system.

Three points from this:

A week or so ago was Mental Health Week and there were lots of great posts- but people struggle all year round so don’t be afraid to speak up at other times if you feel like everything is getting to be just a bit much.
Sometimes depression doesn’t affect you all in. Sometimes you are perfectly fine and functioning just not feeling 100%. This doesn’t mean it’s any less important to recognise and deal with it – and being aware of how you feel and how you can improve your mood can sometimes help you catch yourself.
For me – physical wellness and mental wellness are closely linked. Small habits make a big difference to my mind-set.

Love, Hate, Running and Me

I hate running.

And yet for someone who hates running I sign up to a lot of runs.

So it’s a lie to say I hate running really I suppose.

I like running. I’m just slow.

I can run for long periods of time at a steady pace. I’m never going to get a sub 2 hour half marathon time but I’ve completed a number of half marathons, a number of 5 and 10k runs and one marathon.

What I really mean when I say I hate running is I hate training for runs.

I like going out for a road run- but for 15- 20 minutes, perhaps half an hour.

I like being in the fresh air, feeling the sun on my face on a nice day or the fresh feeling on a cold or wet day.

For me this type of running is less about keeping fit and more like therapy. A time to either think, or to clear my thoughts, to stick on some cheesy music and just be present and take in my surroundings. I tend to run down a cycle route close to my flat and like to people watch and look at the graffiti in the tunnels as I run. If I stay in a hotel I always try and go for a morning run because I like running in different surroundings – sometimes pretty, other times less so.

So when I try and add training for an event into my schedule I struggle. In part this is because my teaching schedule makes long regular runs hard to fit in without overtraining. But it’s also because adding in set distances and set aims detracts from the enjoyment I get from running and I start to put it off.

So inevitably I go into every race I sign up to bemoaning my own lack of preparation and knowing it’s going to be a tough slog.

Normally once I get started I’m good.

This is because I also enjoy organised races. It’s a mixture of the different to normal route, support from the crowd, the atmosphere, getting a goodie bag at the end.

Whilst short training runs fulfil my need for a mental break from life, organised runs leave me with a sense of achievement and push me to do the longer distances I know I’m capable of but rarely push myself to do in training (as someone once said to me I’m a bit of a match day player- I need that pressure to make me perform).

Yesterday I took part in the Great Manchester Run – I did the half marathon distance. The last four years I’ve done the 10K but last year they added in a longer distance so I decided to step up for my fifth year at this event.

My longest run in the run up to the event had been a 10K the week before. I taught five classes the day before so had definitely not rested my legs. My diet had not been top notch during the week and I hadn’t hydrated well. On the day it was HOT!

I ran at a steady pace and completed the course in 2 hours 21 minutes. Given the heat I was really pleased with this time and felt pretty good throughout the run – even managing to run through a stich at around 5 miles. At times I hated it, at other times it felt good. The sprint across the finish line felt brilliant and although my immediate reaction at finishing was never again I know deep down that these type of events provide value to my life and I get something out of them.

I also know however that my training is never likely to be more than the odd 20 minutes run when I feel like running. But I have decided that this is probably OK. I know I can run up to 13 miles at a steady pace when I choose to, my general level of fitness allows this, and as long as I accept that I’m not about to set a world record my preferred training runs and my enjoyment of structured running events can coincide quite happily together.

Whatever training you enjoy doing – find a way to fit it into your life so it suits you. That may mean readjusting your outlook on it or changing your goals, but if this means you enjoy it when you do it then it will add so much more to your training regime and make sure you continue to enjoy what you do.

15 Tips to Help Improve Mental Health

As part of Mental Health Awareness Week I wanted to offer some ideas of simple things you can do relating to fitness and nutrition to help improve your mental health and manage depression and anxiety:

1) Drink water

Most of us don’t drink enough water at the best of time and if you feel low the chances are you will drink even less. Fill a water bottle and sip throughout the day. Dehyration causes fatigue and has been linked to feelings of depression so drinking water is a cheap, low effort way of helping you feel a bit better.

2) Vitamin D

This can help make you feel better natutally. You can buy supplements, a light box, possibly use a sunbed or even better get outside and get some fresh air at the same time. Little effort required for a potential improvement in your mood.

3) Fish Oil

Omega 3 has been linked to improving symptons of mild depression. Make the effort to take a supplement each day – you can buy it in liquid form if you can’t swallow tablets (and are brave!). This was one simple habit that has worked well for me.

4) Eat regular meals

When you feel low eating proper meals at regular times can go out the window. Set an alarm for regular intervals and eat a small simple meal when it goes off. This will help stabilise your mood and create a feeling of routine and normality which can help when life feels like it’s crumblig around you.

5) Eat colourful food

Go to the shop and buy lots of different colourerd food. If you don’t feel like cooking buy prepared veg and fruit. Eating a variety of colours will mean your getting a variety of nutrients and will help improve your mood as well as your health.

6) Eat simple healthy meals

Eating healthy foods can have a dramatic affect on how well your mind feels. If I’ve had a bad week a simple healthy meal can help me feel more positive and in control of my own mind and body. It may sound stupid but when i eat well I feel like my body feels better and I’m looking after myself which in turn makes me feel brighter within myself. On days like this I won’t have the energy to cook a fancy meal so I go for a simple piece of salmon I can microwave or grill and a pack of microwave veg. 10 minutes to prepare a good quality meal.

7) Try some alternative meal prep

The holy grail of fitness freaks! Cooking is the last thing you want to do when you feel depressed. So if you find yourself having a good day make the most of it and prepare so batches of food that you can freeze. Then on days you just can’t face cooking you can defrost one of these meals and still eat something homemade.

8) Buy a slow cooker

Slow cookers allow you to make healthy tasty meals with little effort -and a casserole is brilliant comfort food. They are great for preparing a comforting meal without much effort and will make you feel better thab turning to chocolate and other quick food sources that we often crave when we feel low.

9) Drink less coffee

Adrenal Fatigue and depression / anxiety are linked. Too much coffee puts you at risk of developing adrenal fatigue – drinking less will help reduce stress levels. You could try a herbal tea instead which many people find helps then relax.

10) Walk

Getting outside helps you move more -that will help your mental health. Fresh air will help lift your mood. Being outside will help increase vitamin D intake. Walking can help clear your head. Walking is free. In short one of the best and most simple things you can do to help yourself.

11) Exercise

As I said moving has been shown to help manage many mental health issues. You may not feel much like it but it can be in any form and doesn’t need to be for long periods of time to help. Start small and build up as you start to feel like you can.

12) Dance

Stick music on and just move to the music. Music can improve mood as can moving which makes thos fun activity a win win mood boosting activity.

13) Try group exercise

Nerve wracking and requires motivation. Sounds awful if you aren’t having the best day. But if you can push yourself to walk into the room you can find exercise, motivation, good music and social interaction in one place. It’s hars to leave a class not feeling at least a little bit more positive than when you walked in.

14) Join a team or club

Another nervewracking idea. Another idea which will allow you to exercise which will help your mental health and get to meet new people, another great mood booster. It can also help boose confidence which will help your mental health dramatically.

15) Try yoga

A chance to challenge your body and stretch along with a focus on breathing and mental wellbeing. You could try a class or find a free video on You tube. You could do and hour or even 5 minutes. Whatever you feel like at the start there is an option you could try out and you may feel more relaxes by the end of it.

Do you have any other tips for improving your mental health?

It’s Good to Talk

This week is Mental Health Awareness Week and I’ve seen lots of people open up on Social Media about their own experiences in the hope that it may help encourage those who are currently suffering to reach out and seek help.

I love this. It’s such a positive thing to do and I try to be open about my own experiences with others as I believe that being honest about depression and anxiety will have a more positive impact than trying to hide it and allowing the stigma that still exists in some people’s mind to win.

I suffered with, first, anxiety and later depression for a long time until eventually it caused an almost complete breakdown of my life. I’ve spent the last couple of years slowly rebuilding and in many ways the experience has made my life better as I have a different perspective on many things now.

I have to be honest. I’ve had (and still have) set backs. Life generally throws up road blocks from time to time and trying to beat depression sometimes feels like taking two steps forward one step back. But there is help out there in lots of forms. Some things will work for you, others will not.

One thing I would say to someone who is suffering from depression right now and doesn’t think it can get better is to try everything suggested to you. Some things won’t make much difference (no one thing works for everyone) but something you try will help, and whilst it will take time, things can improve. Not overnight, but slowly they can get better.

There’a a chance you don’t believe me. I wouldn’t have believed me a couple of years ago. But to be honest if you’re currently suffering you don’t have much to lose from at least trying things.

This of course assumes you have reached out already.

And for a lot of people their mental health issues are made worse because they are dealing with stresses that nobody knows about. I know full well that just saying your problems and worries outloud is hard.

So the other thing I would say is talk to someone. Today, tomorrow – Find someone – anyone – and tell them what is causing the problem.

I eventually turned a corner by complete accident.

In a general chat one day I just suddenly splurted out everything that was causing my stress and anxiety. Once I started speaking it just kept coming and eventually I’d said outloud for the first time all my fears. I didn’t even know the person that well at the time.

It was the catylst for beginning to tackle the things that were causing the stress and drastically improving my mental health.

As I talked they didn’t react with shock or disgust. They listened and then we talked about it. Saying it and not being judged was the starting point that gave me the belief I could fix things and wasn’t a failure

It doesn’t matter who you talk to – a friend, family memeber or stranger. It will help reduce the load and allow you to move forward and start to improve your mental health.

Almost everyone is affected by Mental Health issues in some way at some point so if this week can remind us one thing it is to not be ashamed to speak up and ask for help.

Tomorrow as my own contribution to raise awareness (because it is a fitness blog!) I’m going to share my tips on how exercise and food can help improve your mental health – something that everyone would benefit from.

Paleo

Recently I’ve been eating a Paleo based diet which has been working out pretty well for me.

When I say Paleo based I don’t mean strict Paleo. I’ve tried that previously and never found it sustainable.

The ‘strict’ way I managed 21 days. I ate only meat or eggs, veg and fat in the forms of nuts, oils and avacados. No dairy, fruit, carbs – even potatoes. It worked well – I lost weight, body fat, looked super lean. But it was hell. I was grumpy, craved everything and felt dizzy and weak frequently. It actually put me off trying a more relaxed form after the 21 days were up. But after trying IM fasting and deciding that wasn’t for me my trainer suggested I give Paleo another go, but this time trying his more flexible version.

I did and now I’ve settled into eating a Paleo based diet for four days a week and then just eating sensibly the other three days.

Generally I eat Paleo Monday to Friday as my job means I’m office based these days and then I can have treats over the weekend when I’m out and about.

This Paleo means I eat:

Meat
Eggs
Veg
Potatoes in small quantities
Avacado
Nuts
Fruit
Almond or coconut milk

I also drink protein shakes to hit my protein targets.

I don’t eat:

Bread
Pasta
Rice
Sweets
Chocolate
Crisps
Refined sugar
Honey or syrups
Milk
Cheese
Yoghurt
Processed foods

The three main benefits of this are:

It’s easy to hit your protein target for the day
It’s hard to over eat and end up in a calories surpluss (in fact I frequently end up in a large deficit on these days)
It makes me feel less bloated and more energetic

On the other three days I still try and eat Paleo around 80% of the time but I will add in some other carbs and some treats to satisfy my sweet tooth. I still make sure I hit my protein target.

This means

Mentally I don’t feel like binging as much as I used to because I know I am ‘allowed’ foods I like every week
I make up some of the deficit built up earlier in the week whilst still not ruining my progress

I use this system to hit a 15-20% calorie deficit accross the week (a safe deficit) and to hit my protein target of 160g a day (2g protein per 1kg of body weight) without having to count calories or track macros obsessively.

It allows me to eat A LOT (my workmates will attest to how much I eat) and to eat a lot of good quality, tasty food with lots of colour and variety. I don’t need to rely on meal replacements or processed foods so much any more (which can make me feel sluggish). Added to drinking lots of water its an eating system that has left me feeling good (and lean).

It’s also a flexible enough system that if someone brings in Cosco Carrott cake (my drug of choice – one word – sugar!!!) to work on a Tuesday I can swap my Paleo days -enjoy some cake and just eat Paleo on Friday instead.

It won’t work for everyone and there’s lots if other ways of managing your eating out there that work for others but this is a flexible, safe and healthy option that is working well for me.

Today I cleaned the bath

I sat down this morning to write and couldn’t think of what to write about.

So I went and cleaned the bath instead. Then I cleaned the kitchen counters and mopped the kitchen and bathroom floors.

This took me about 20 minutes.

I never spend much more than 20 minutes a day on housework.

But everyday I do something – just 2 or 3 little jobs. I work long days but fitting 20 minutes in is doable. Mentally it barely feels like housework.

Dirt doesn’t build up because I keep on top of it.

I don’t have to spend hours on my day off cleaning from top to bottom.

Your training can be viewed much the same.

If you move in some way everyday you don’t need to spend hours and hours in the gym.

20-30 minutes regularly week in week out will keep you healthy, happy and keep you in shape without taking over your life.

3-4 days a week I either go to my work gym or run on my lunch break. Thirty minutes. Short, simple, intense – fits it nicely with the rest if my day.

Compliment rather than complicate your life -whether training or cleaning!

Motivation (and the weather)

I struggled to put my thoughts on paper today, so I recorded it instead.

https://youtu.be/L2C3O6mnNrE

This is just my opinion and some may disagree but hopefully you still find it a little interesting.

I’d like to stress that people train and eat certain foods for all sorts of reasons and I understand for some dissatisfaction is an excellent motivator – in which case why not stick with what works.

But i think positive motivators and choosing activities that you actually enjoy and fit into your life can have such an impact on physical and mental health.

It did for me.