Peace

My knee is a lot better (rest helps who knew!) and my cough, whilst still lingering, has improved. So my plan to spend the back end of 2024 creating good habits and finding my groove is going pretty well.

I think in the past, unless I was at the size / shape I wanted and doing lots I felt like I wasn’t in the right place, but actually I can say that, whilst no where near perfect, I’m eating reasonably well and I’m being active. The habits are coming and I’m feeling pretty good and I know that from that the weight loss will eventually follow.

It’s all a process and I need to get things in place bit by bit if I want to feel good whilst I’m losing weight. I don’t want to sacrifice enjoying things for the sake of getting to my goals a bit quicker.

One thing I have decided is that I only want to do things that I enjoy and make me feel good. I’ve given up forcing myself to aim for goals I think I should aim for and am looking to do more pilates and classes which are maybe less manic but more focused on technique and strength. I also accept that as I’m older and my knees are not what they once were, I am going to struggle with some things – that’s ok – I can work with that.

I feel like my mindset has shifted a bit and that in itself has made me feel better about myself even though I am not yet where I’d like to be and I think that’s a pretty good thing.

I’m Back

Well I haven’t written a blog post in ages!

This being fundamentally a fitness blog I’ve kind of lost my way with it as I quit teaching fitness classes and subsequently lost my fitness mojo too.

After years of having the regimented timetable of classes (which essentially means you have to exercise regardless of how you feel) the loss of structure made me feel a bit adrift. That’s not to say I haven’t trained, I’ve still lited sporadically, started attending some new classes which I really enjoyed and have run a half marathon and 10k. It’s just not quite the intensity I’m used to, and that, combined with illness and hormonal changes I’ve put on weight and generally lost a lot of confidence.It feels like I’ve not quite managed to gte that spark back.

I signed up for a challenge in October with the aim of getting myself out of that funk, but realised it was too soon and that made me even more demotivated. So I’ve had a total rethink.

I’ve split my goals up into several chunks over the next 16 months or so (obviously subject to change) and will be focusing on different things one block at a time, to give myself more structure and make it all seem much less overwhelming.

For the next 10 weeks I’m focusing on the basics. Rebuilding some strength with some basic lifts and overload in the gym, working on my diet to lose some weight and trying some different things to get myself out of a rut.

Last week I tried a Tower Pilates class (the tower looks scary but it was actually good fun and I really felt like I’d worked afterwards) and I’ve signed up to a block of sessions at that pilates studio. I’ve also signed up for a trial of Class Pass and have booked in a few different classes over the next couple of weeks.

Hoping that by breaking my goals and training into periodic chunks I’ll start to feel the difference and feel good again.

One month on …

A month without a blog post. It’s been a busy month and something had to give. So what have I done since my last post?

Well I visited France, tried Eurostar for the first time (a fan) and last week I ran a half marathon.

Did I feel ready to run? No. Honestly I don’t think I’d prepared enough and I knew it would be hard but wow.

It was hotter than the weather forecast predicted and my knee, even strapped up, didn’t hold out for that long.

For the first 6/7km I thought I was going to be pleased with my time but then the knee really started to hurt. So much so that when the 10km race and half split at 8.5km I really almost turned to finish at 10km.

A very last minute switch back the the half and i limped my way up multiple hills (Birmingham is hilly) and battled cramp right at the end (same point in the race as last year) to eventually get to the end.

Whilst I was really disappointed in myself in terms of time and how I did, I finished it – even when I really didn’t want to and that in itself is a win.

This week I’ve got back to it with a couple of Bootcamps, a strength class and some gym sessions and one small attempt at a run. My knee is still a massive issue but we move.

This week’s mission? Eat less!

Patience

This week has been a reminder to not try and do everything.

I’ve done a fair bit this week but still feel like I didn’t do as much as I’d have liked. I’m reminding myself though, that I need to listen to my body. Thursday for instance, I was knackered. I’d done a tough Bootcamp and a step class on Wednesday and on Thursday I was fatigued and hungry.

If I’d have tried to push through and do something Thursday I’d have probably ended up even more fatigued today and eventually my body would have forced me to stop. As it was it felt harder at Bootcamp today!

I think I need to realise that it will probably always feel like we could do more, but being sensible, building up and sticking with it will be loads more effective than going hell for leather now and burning out quickly.

Starting again is hard

It’s really hard to start a fitness journey. Getting into good habits and going to the gym for the first time and changing your eating habits is hard. You can be anxious about walking into a class or gym, unsure about how people will react and feel self doubt about whether your doing things right.

What I’m finding out is that starting AGAIN feels even harder and there’s a few reasons for that.

Comparison against what I used to be able to do. Before I gained weight, when I was conditioned to train more often and lift heavier, before my knees made running really hard. Comparing where I am now against where I was pre Covid is demotivating and makes me feel bad about myself.
Other people’s comments. I know I’m starting pretty much from scratch again. Don’t get me wrong, this time I have the knowledge but I know I need to adjust my own expectations of myself. When other people around you refer to what you used to be able to do and judge what your doing now against that it’s hard to not let it get to you. Yes I know my run was slower than it used to be, I don’t need you to point that out in a surprised voice thank you very much! It’s not meant in a bad way and people are just taking an interest but when you feel sensitive about something it’s hard to let things wash over you.
When you first start a fitness journey people can be encouraging, it’s impressive you’ve just done that class or well done for trying that. When you’ve taught classes for years starting a new class as a participant or when you’ve run lots of races in the past signing up for a run doesn’t seem like it should be a good deal so you should just take it in your stride, but it’s actually pretty scary. You want these new achievements to be seen as achievements not in comparison to past achievements.
Wanting to do things differently this time. Some of the things that got me to be as fit as I was were a bit excessive. I was too strict with food and over trained. I want to get fitter but I want to do it in a way that’s kinder to myself. That’s hard though when you know what could work achieve results quicker or you feel like you’re not a disciplined as you used to be.

It’s not all doom and gloom. I’ve found some classes where I can work hard at the level I’m currently at and I feel good for it and there are people out there who will remind you that you are still fit even if it’s not in the same way that you sued to be. I also know that a lot of the above can be ignored and is about how I perceive the situation.

My point is that this is also the case when you start a fitness journey but whereas we acknowledge how hard that can be, we don’t always think about the dips in our long term journeys once we are established in fitness.

Some weeks are tougher than others

The last couple of weeks have been busy at work so I knew I’d struggle to do loads during this time.

I’ve managed to run a few times though and as soon as I was quieter at work I got myself back to classes and did a step and cycle class on Wednesday. Generally I’ve felt pretty lacking in motivation though so I’ve also skipped workouts I could have got myself to.

I’ve been eating a lot too, I really find the food side so much harder than exercising! I’ve also struggled to regularly stick to healthy habits which is something I need to be more consistent with.

It’s starting to get a bit lighter though now so I’m hoping that will lift my spirits a bit so I can get outside more. Not looking forward to this week much but hoping that I can at least get to the gym and eat a bit better so I can look back on the week and be happy with my progress.

January is almost over

Wow, January is almost done and I’ve not written a blog post this year yet (or even since the start of the December). How have you found January? Have you managed to get started with resolutions for 2024 or has the month just slipped away? In my head I’ve been thinking well we’ve just got started with the year and I’ve loads of time then all of a sudden one month is almost over and I feel like I haven’t really achieved much yet. If I’m fair to myself I have though, but I think to realise that I need to properly reflect on what I have actually done.

My goals this year are:

Lose some weight – ideally 10kg
Regain strength (deadlift 120kg, Hip thrust 200kg, unassisted pull up, press up on toes as basic markers to aim for)
Improve mobility so I don’t become the actual tin man
Get better and more consistent at running – aiming to get closer to a 30 min 5k, 60 min 10k, 2.5 hour half
One (staying secret for now) physical challenge
Grow this blog and business
Travel more
Try new things and tick things off my bucket list

So at the stat of the year I worked out what I needed to do to reach these targets,

I have a rough, subject to change, plan of my strength and running training for the year. Focusing on different aspects of strength training at different points in the year and building up running with my first target being a half in May.
Getting to Park Run consistently.
Stretching weekly.
Attending classes as a participant.
Sticking to a calorie deficit.
Writing blogs regularly.
Plan and book some trips for across the year and look to book things oon my bucket list and other things to do that are new.

January hasn’t been perfect. I have been going to the gym, although I feel like I’m not in a habit with this. I’m starting from scratch – light an getting back into the habit so I can start to rebuild the weight. I have been getting to classes though, I’ve found two I really enjoy- a step class and a strength class that I’ve been pretty consistent with. Running has been harder, the weather (ice and wind) is a challenge and I’ve not made a Park Run yet. I also haven’t really stretch much (mentally I have such a block here as I don’t enjoy it). I’ve also really struggled with my food intake, I’ve over eaten most weeks. So in those terms I’ve made a start with moving more but need to turn my attention to my diet now and just be more sensible because my weight won’t shift without doing this. At the same time I need to remember that I’m never going to be perfect and instead of pressing the f**k it button when I slip I just need to be better than I have been at these things even when it’s not ideal.

As well as trying step, which was new to me (in the past when I’ve tried I’ve never kept up) I’ve started a beginners Sala course and it’s fun! I’ve also got my first trip of the year coming up, I’m off to Malta on Monday for an exploring holiday (and a bit of sun) and I’m umming and ahhhng about where else I want to go. I’m weighing up an epic trip that I think would be amazing but would be scary to do on my own.

How have you done in month one of 2024? I think the thing to remember is that we can’t do everything straight away and as much as I’d like to say oooh I can already see results and like I’ve made loads of progress the fact of the matter is that January is cold and miserable and that makes things harder, so I’m taking January as laying the foundations and February will be where I want to actually feel things starting to take shape.

Too Many Balls

Do you ever feel completely overwhelmed with everything that is going on?

I suspect a lot of people do because one of the most common reasons people give for not exercising or looking at what they eat is that they are too busy.

I’ve said here before that really this can be overcome with planning, working out what you need to prioritise and what you can realistically do, being realistic about your goals. I stand by this, but I also get it, it’s something I’ve struggled with recently.

I think it’s a natural feeling to have sometimes, to be completely overwhelmed. Whether you already train regularly, eat pretty well, juggle lots of jobs and tasks or whether these are things you aspire to do but don’t feel like you do right now, sometimes it just feels like there’s too much stuff.

Sometimes out of nowhere the balls your kept in the air for ages feel like too many balls or trying to change one small thing in your house of cards feels like it will bring the whole thing down.

This is when you need to stop and evaluate.

‘Hustle’ is great. If you want things you do have to work, whether that be in your career or working towards your ideal physique, but when you attempt to do everything perfectly you can end up reaching the point you actually are doing nothing because it’s all just got too much.

Sometimes you need to sit and look at everything on your to do list. Take off some of the pointless tasks that don’t really matter. Look at your training, look at your diet and pin point exactly what is you need to focus on right now and forget about everything else you hear about and think maybe you should be doing too.

My plan for the 8 weeks or so before Christmas? Well I noticed these last few months I’ve been putting off important shit because I’ve felt a little bit overwhelmed. When I’m overwhelmed I comfort eat, when I comfort eat I feel sluggish and don’t really want to train.

My plan? I’m going to track my food, not cut stuff out or eat too differently (I’m not good when I cut things out) just make sure I’m staying within my TDEE. That will make me feel better about training – Training I need to rebuild. Not spend hours in the gym, but plan my sessions in and treat them like appointments and be 100% present in the session to be the best of my ability that day.

Essentially I’m planning to finish 2023 by focusing on doing the basics well. That’s going to make life feel simpler and therefore reduce that feeling of juggling lots of balls.

If right now you feel like you can’t hit your fitness goals because you’ve too much on try taking a look, seeing what you can drop and what really simple things you can commit to right now to get you closer to your goals by the end of the year.

Comparisons

People say all the time not to compare your fitness journey to someone else’s, and I think even if we fall into the trap occasionally most of us know this is true.

What’s really hard is getting out of the habit of comparing where you are now to where you yourself used to be. It’s fine if the change has been what you see as an improvement, your slimmer or have more muscle definition or your faster, can lift heavier. It’s much harder to deal with when you feel like where you are now is a step back.

Going for a run when you know you sued to be able to run much faster or to the gym when you once could lift much heavier adds an extra layer of mental challenge to your motivation. I also think that when you are bigger than you once were the emotions surrounding that make it that much harder to get out there and move, especially if you feel self conscious about the changes, and it becomes a double edged sword, where the things that would help you feel better about yourself are also hard to do when you don’t feel good.

Of course this is also a feeling that people starting from scratch with fitness often feel, but when you’re starting again there’s almost an element of shame added to it.

I honestly think fitness is a mindset thing, because the actual components of a healthy lifestyle aren’t complicated, it’s our emotional connection to those things that makes it that much harder.

It was a donut

‘That looks like 20 minutes in the gym’.

Someone said that today as I ate an ice donut.

Now apart from, in reality I probably wouldn’t burn the amount of calories in the donut within 20 minutes (ever realised how much we over estimate calories burnt during exercise?), the notion that we have to earn our food is a horrible mindset to be in.

When we think in terms of ‘if I do this, I can have that’ or I’m going to have to exercise for this long because I’ve eaten this’ we effectively put a negative narrative on certain foods and make exercise a form of punishment.

Of course when we are more active we will burn and therefore be able to eat more calories to maintain our weight. Of course if you want to lose weight you need to understand the balance of calories in and out. So being aware of calories you are consuming or your TDEE isn’t unhealthy or obsessive.

But thinking of food as something that needs to be earned instead of enjoyed makes it a chore instead of a part of life. Thinking of exercise as something we have to do to eat instead of something we get to do to feel good and be healthy makes it something we may well end up resenting.

A donut should always look like a donut (tasty) not 20 minutes in the gym.