- Nobody is judging you. We were all new once and only dicks take the piss out of new people in a gym- the rest of us take the piss out of those dicks (not new people).
- Most people in gyms are not experts so don’t assume what that person in the corner who looks like a pro is doing is ‘right’.
- There is no one way to train so don’t worry if people are doing different things to you.
- If you aren’t sure how to do something ask a member of gym staff. They are doing this job because they like helping people.
- Book in for an induction – gyms are a lot less scary when you know how the equipment works.
- Get a programme if your gym membership offers it- it will give you a good starting point.
- Try classes. They can be a great place to start if you aren’t really sure about the gym itself.
- Smile at people. Gym regulars tend to be a friendly bunch and we don’t think it’s weird talking to people we’ve never met in the changing rooms.
- If you aren’t keen on the first thing you try try something else – there will be something you enjoy and that will be the best way for you to get results.
- You don’t need to train every day. If you currently never exercise doing something once a week is a 100% improvement on your activity levels. You will still see results – it doesn’t have to be seven training sessions a week or nothing.
This time last week I went to Les Mills Tribal Gathering in Twickenham (London).
I’d ummed and ahhed about going, booking a space but not booking travel until the week before. I like going and trying the new releases and meeting people (and to be fair now unlimited CPD is now included in the price of your music I kind of think why not go to as much as possible, I’m quite keen on self development and learning). Equally however I always feel a bit apprehensive going to these things alone.
It was interesting to read on some social media forums this week that I’m not alone in feeling this way. Logically you know it isn’t the case that everyone has gone with a massive group of people and knows everyone, but when you walk into a room of chattering noise alone it can feel that way.
I’m fortunate I know quite a few Les Mills instructors around the country and have spoken to so many people via social media over the last couple of years that there’s always people I know pretty well without having ever met who I can catch up with, and it’s brilliant to put real faces to names (this is another reason I love travelling a bit further to these events – getting to meet those people). Equally, I’m naturally quite a shy anxious person so, even with all those absolute positives, there can be moments in the day when it feels a bit overwhelming and you just want to see a familiar face.
I was planning to write a blog on the topic and then saw the posts bringing the topic up and I think it’s really positive that people feel they can have these conversations and highlight those feelings, because sometimes there’s an urge to hide them away for fear of looking weak or like a billy no mates. In highlighting that it’s common for people to feel a bit nervous and alone at these events it encourages you to make the effort to speak to strangers, go up to people on there own and say hi and generally make a brilliant event even better.
I know, even though I get a bit nervous at these things, I can make conversations with people I’ve not met so it’s manageable for me, but for some people perhaps we need to be the one to go and break the ice and that’s a great reminder for us all. Equally, some people may look quite confident (I will go and chat to people I don’t know which may make me appear more outgoing than I feel) but be anxious behind that, so just smiling and saying hi to everyone is a great way to go.
It also made me remember how our new participants feel when they first walk into class. That feeling that everyone seems to know everyone and what they are doing and perhaps they don’t really belong here. It’s a great reminder of the care we need to take to make them feel welcome.
It is also worth while remembering what we would say to that participant and applying that to ourselves in a situation like this.
Ultimately, I know that it’s ok to feel uncomfortable sometimes, it’s good to make yourself do those things you’re a bit scared of sometimes even. I also know by going and enjoying the day, even if there were times I was a bit lost or nervous I overcame those feelings a bit. I had a great day, met some brilliant people in real life who I’ve known via Facebook for a while and next time I go to a Tribal Gathering alone I have a couple of positive experiences of doing so behind me to help me reduce the nerves (I also travelled to Glasgow alone).
What can I suggest you do if you’re nervous about going to the next Tribal Gathering alone or if you want to try a class at your gym but are anxious about making that first step?
- We all get nervous about stepping out our comfort zones (hopefully the above demonstrates that) – knowing these feelings are not exclusive to you can reduce their impact.
2. Find out whose going who you do know and arrange to meet before hand so you have someone to walk in with – those first few moments are normally the ones that are the hardest and once you’re moving it’s not so bad.
3. Take some time out if you need to during the event. Grab a coffee and a quiet spot and regroup (but Tribal specific that one!)
4. If you’re new to a class let the instructor know you’re a bit nervous – they’ll help ease those nerves and make sure you have a good first class… now if you’re at Tribal you might not be able to speak to the presenter beforehand but you can chat to those around you – let’s face it they too are all instructors!
5. Remember it’s always ok to leave. I can almost guarantee once you’re there you’ll have fun and decide not to, but knowing that at the start of the day / the class can help get you through the door.
Sometimes doing things you actually want to do is still hard because our brains get in the way of us – there’s ways to get over that though!
I had a conversation with a friend over the weekend about goals.
Goals are great for keeping you motivated and on track with your training and nutrition, and people who are quite consistent with their eating and training are often very good at setting and then working towards goals. This is a good thing obviously, but equally it can cause us to put unnecessary stress on ourselves.
See when we are very motivated to achieve XYZ it can become easy to start comparing yourself to others, to start picking holes in our own progress and under valuing our own results. It can also become difficult to recognise that as your goals differ from other people’s what their success looks like and what your success looks like will also be different. Even more so as your goals change what you measure results on might change at the same time at which point it can become even harder to accept the subsequent changes to our body or strength.
Added to this, most of us generally take on board what other people say and think about our bodies with minimal questioning. So if those around us comment on say our weight when we have been training to increase our strength (as opposed to trying to lose weight) it can be difficult to remind ourselves that our weight isn’t important to us because that isn’t our goal.
What I’m trying to articulate here is that at a really basic level setting goals is a great start to a fitness journey but for people where fitness is already part of everyday life we can sometimes get confused about what our goals are and what they mean by paying too much attention to other people’s opinions and other people’s goals.
For me, previously my goals have been running orientated and next year I’d like to pick that up again, at which point my training and nutrition will need to reflect that. Right now though, if I am totally honest I need a break from a specific goal. I’ve spent the last few years chasing one goal and qualification after another and need a bit of a break. I actually just want to train and eat to feel good.
I often say I’d like to be leaner, but if I’m honest right now I’m no willing to stop eating cake in the quantity I do or train more often or for longer that I currently do, so I’m not likely to get leaner than I currently am as I don’t want to change my current lifestyle.
That will change- probably next year I will reset everything and work towards a running based goal. But until then if I see someone smashing out some PBs, running marathons or looking stage ready and feel that sense of failure that I’m not in that condition right now I need to remember I’m not in that condition because I haven’t trained to be in that condition and I haven’t trained to be in that condition because that is not my goal.
Set a goal by all means. Set one that means something to you. Then work to that goal and don’t be swayed by what other people think, say or are doing. And if you change your mind and change your goal that’s fine, you can always readjust your own goal posts.
Following Mental Health Awareness Day Thursday I wanted to offer some ideas of simple things you can do relating to fitness and nutrition to help improve your mental health (whoever you are) and perhaps even help manage depression and anxiety:
1) Drink water
Most of us don’t drink enough water at the best of time and if you feel low the chances are you will drink even less. Fill a water bottle and sip throughout the day. Dehyration causes fatigue and has been linked to feelings of depression so drinking water is a cheap, low effort way of helping you feel a bit better.
2) Vitamin D
This can help make you feel better natutally. You can buy supplements, a light box, possibly use a sunbed or even better get outside and get some fresh air at the same time. Little effort required for a potential improvement in your mood.
3) Fish Oil
Omega 3 has been linked to improving symptons of mild depression. Make the effort to take a supplement each day – you can buy it in liquid form if you can’t swallow tablets (and are brave!). This was one simple habit that has worked well for me.
4) Eat regular meals
When you feel low eating proper meals at regular times can go out the window. Set an alarm for regular intervals and eat a small simple meal when it goes off. This will help stabilise your mood and create a feeling of routine and normality which can help when life feels like it’s crumblig around you.
5) Eat colourful food
Go to the shop and buy lots of different colourerd food. If you don’t feel like cooking buy prepared veg and fruit. Eating a variety of colours will mean your getting a variety of nutrients and will help improve your mood as well as your health.
6) Eat simple healthy meals
Eating healthy foods can have a dramatic affect on how well your mind feels. If I’ve had a bad week a simple healthy meal can help me feel more positive and in control of my own mind and body. It may sound stupid but when I eat well I feel like my body feels better and I’m looking after myself which in turn makes me feel brighter within myself. On days like this I won’t have the energy to cook a fancy meal so I go for a simple piece of salmon I can microwave or grill and a pack of microwave veg. 10 minutes to prepare a good quality meal.
7) Try some alternative meal prep
The holy grail of fitness freaks! Cooking is the last thing you want to do when you feel depressed. So if you find yourself having a good day make the most of it and prepare so batches of food that you can freeze. Then on days you just can’t face cooking you can defrost one of these meals and still eat something homemade.
8) Buy a slow cooker
Slow cookers allow you to make healthy tasty meals with little effort -and a casserole is brilliant comfort food. They are great for preparing a comforting meal without much effort and will make you feel better than turning to chocolate and other quick food sources that we often crave when we feel low.
9) Drink less coffee
Adrenal Fatigue and depression / anxiety are linked. Too much coffee puts you at risk of developing adrenal fatigue – drinking less will help reduce stress levels. You could try a herbal tea instead which many people find helps then relax.
Getting outside helps you move more -that will help your mental health. Fresh air will help lift your mood. Being outside will help increase vitamin D intake. Walking can help clear your head. Walking is free. In short one of the best and most simple things you can do to help yourself fell more positive.
As I said moving has been shown to help manage many mental health issues. You may not feel much like it but it can be in any form and doesn’t need to be for long periods of time to help. Start small and build up as you start to feel like you can.
Stick music on and just move to the music. Music can improve mood as can moving which makes thos fun activity a win win mood boosting activity.
13) Try group exercise
Nerve wracking and requires motivation. Sounds awful if you aren’t having the best day. But if you can push yourself to walk into the room you can find exercise, motivation, good music and social interaction in one place. It’s hard to leave a class not feeling at least a little bit more positive than when you walked in.
14) Join a team or club
Another nervewracking idea. Another idea which will allow you to exercise which will help your mental health and get to meet new people, another great mood booster. It can also help boose confidence which will help your mental health dramatically.
15) Try yoga
A chance to challenge your body and stretch along with a focus on breathing and mental wellbeing. You could try a class or find a free video on You tube. You could do an hour or even 5 minutes. Whatever you feel like at the start there is an option you could try out and you may feel more relaxed by the end of it.
Do you have any other tips for improving your mental health?
World Mental Health Day this year is focusing on suicide prevention, there’s some useful downloads on their website about this topic for a variety of situations and it’s worth a read (website link below).
There are two school’s of thought with ‘days’- mental health, women’s day and so on. Yes – in an ideal world we wouldn’t need specific days to remind people are inequalities and reduce stigma. We don’t live in an ideal world though and what these days do is start conversations – some of those conversations may well be forgotten tomorrow sadly, but for some the onslaught of coverage on one day could set in motion the impetus to make a change- either for someone specifically affected or in making someone more mindful.
There’s so much that I could write about today- from personal experience but I’ll limit this blog to three brief things I think worthy of being mindful of if you know someone who is currently struggling with any mental health condition.
It can be frustrating for those around someone who is struggling with depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts. Often you try and help and feel like you’re being met with resistance at every turn. These illnesses are not logical though and as well meaning as your advice may be you might not get the reaction you hope for. You can offer the most practical and solid advice in how someone might feel better but self care is hard when you are really ill and even though it’s the thing that will help it can feel practically impossible to do. As frustrating as that may be for you believe me the person affected will be equally, probably more frustrated and knowing those around them are frustrated can just add to the difficulty of climbing out of a hole.
If you know someone who is struggling, be there for them, offer an ear, even offer advice, but accept you can’t fix it and you may feel like you repeat yourself a million times before anything lands. Don’t take that personally – you being there is probably helping even if it feels like it isn’t. If someone is suicidal, as much of an impact and stress that will place on you and others around them- remember the stress they feel to get to that point is far greater- frustration and anger are normal and understandable responses but when people get ill they aren’t doing it to piss people off or make life hard for others, get time off work or get attention.
From my own experience when I went back to work after being off for a long time due to mental health issues I found it really hard and one reason for this was there was no understanding of mental illness in the way there would be for a physical illness. The procedures in place just didn’t work for managing what was wrong with me. I’m lucky I have a good manager who took time to listen to me and understand and that helped me settle back in, but at first it was really hard because I felt like I was having to fight against a system at a time when I really didn’t have the capacity to do so. It took me to bite the bullet ask for a conversation and try and explain.
You can understand in situations like this how so many people fall between the gaps and end up unemployed, isolated and feeling like there’s no way out. It’s easy to drop out the system (if you stop going to the doctors because you really just can’t face anything they don’t chase you up for instance), you can have to jump through hoops to get help but often have no motivation to do so. You actually have to fight to get help (or have someone fight for you) and often you just can’t when your ill. You may lose your job because your company doesn’t recognise mental illness as a genuine illness and not have the capacity to fight that.
These situations could be improved with education. I don’t just mean companies educating their staff to understand mental illness, I mean in some cases companies themselves need to understand better how mental illness can affect staff and how best to handle it at a variety of stages- both preventative measures, catching signs of problems early on and dealing with the aftermath of serious issues.
Today is about making people aware of the importance of mental health, of being open about discussing it- because more people than you would ever anticipate will be affected to varying degrees over their lifetime. Being aware everyday is important though. If you notice that a friend or a colleague doesn’t seem quite right you haven’t got to have a conversation with them if you don’t feel comfortable. It might be mentioning your concern to someone closer to them who could check in on them. But equally it could be dropping them a message or calling them for a chat, inviting them for a coffee or lunch, anything to connect with them. You know that thing we call being nice, letting people know they have people around them. On a day to day individual basis that can be the thing that makes the difference, and because you never really know how much people are struggling making not being a dick a general life rule is probably the best way to help others maintain good mental health, not least because you never know what sort of things could affect someones so something you say in passing which means nothing to you could affect that person for hours even days after.
So today’s blog is actually a video. If you follow my blog you know I’ve been blogging about my progress on the fitness nutrition and mindset programme Jump 4.2. This is a bit of a follow up to that where I explain 5 reasons why any group ex instructors or regular participants who train a lot but aren’t getting the results they want should consider doing Jump.
I’m not your traditional advert for a fitness programme. I haven’t had a massive physical transformation in 8 weeks – I haven’t developed a six-pack. What I have gained from working with Ricky is a healthy relationship with food, my training and my own head. I can have weeks where I eat too much and don’t train of course, but now I can deal with them – they don’t derail my progress or make me feel like I need to start again. I know what I can achieve if I want to get super lean, equally I know where my happy place is where I’m fit, healthy and able to enjoy life.
I think that’s what most of us really want. Most of us don’t want to give up cake and cocktails or spend hours in the gym in exchange for abs- we just want to feel good whilst still enjoying our favourite indulgences. If that’s you then I’m the proof that Jump 4.2 works – I’m the most boring yet honest advertisement going!
The last intake in 2019 opens on 1st September. If you are interested and have any questions you can contact me on instagram DM @heather.sherwood or Ricky Long @rickylong42 or @jump4.2.
I have a couple of discount codes for 15% off – if you would like to sign up with a discount drop me a message.
Anyway – here’s my video!
Do you have stretch marks? If you don’t you’re in the minority as an estimated 80% of people have some sort of stretch marks.
Pregnancy and puberty are two of the biggest causes, as both situations cause rapid growth, as the skin stretches to accommodate this growth slight indentations / discolored streaks can appear. Recently formed stretch marks will often be red and glossy but overtime they can become silver in colour and take on a scar like appearance. Most commonly they appear on the thighs, belly, breasts, hips and bum and whilst more common in women also affect many men.
Stretch marks are almost anticipated in some circumstances, such as pregnancy, and many women will use oils etc. to try and reduce the effect once they discover they are pregnant. We are often more surprised by stretch marks which occur as part of a fitness programme.
It feels somewhat unfair that making an effort to improve your fitness can lead to stretch marks but rapid weight gain (and even rapid weight loss) can cause stretch marks, so if you are working to build muscle you may see the odd mark form (I recently noticed some stretchmarks on my bicep as my arms have become more defined), and if you find yourself yo yo dieting (rapidly loosing and then gaining weight) you again could find yourself with new stretch marks.
So actually stretch marks are something that is fitness related. Especially if you’ve had some form of body transformation and changed your appearance dramatically it can be a shock to reach your goal but then find unexpected body changes such as loose skin and stretch marks.
It is of course another good reason to encourage slow and steady change over the dramatic but even then lots of people will still find themselves with a couple of stretch marks.
To be fair, many will fade over time, some might fade so much that they are barely visible and there are things you can use (bio oil, moisterisers) which can help reduce their visibility, and if you want to do that why not- we are all entitled to do anything which help boost our confidence.
However, equally, they should be something we are able to embrace and accept about our body. Much like periods, which are discussed openly more often now but this is a recent change, many people are ashamed and try and hide their stretch marks (sarongs on the beach, long sleeve tops covering your arms and so on). The most bonkers thing is, that not only do most people have stretch marks but they affect both sexes so it’s a bit bonkers that we are so embarrassed about them – most of us have them but try and disguise the fact we do.
I don’t want to sound like I’m preaching. I remember the first time I found stretch marks on my thighs as a teenager, and my distress when my mum told me that there was nothing I could do to get rid of them but they would probably fade over time. When you are a fourteen year old girl being told the big red streaks on your legs are there to stay knocks your confidence and I rarely wore skirts without tights after that.
Equally, I know I’ve been really lucky as I’ve gained significant weight and then lost that much and more over my adult life and in more recent years gained a fair bit of muscle (growth) and have managed to pick up only a few small stretch marks (which have also faded quite well over time and are now more like little fine purple lines), so me saying be more accepting about them is easy enough, I understand when any kind of marking is more visible it naturally will affect self confidence more.
So I’m not suggesting everyone should walk around half naked to display them (well unless they want to, and even then you probably shouldn’t go to work in a bikini) but if you have some and they make you feel self conscious remember that for every 10 people you work with or talk to today, 8 will have stretch marks too. It’s often said that if you got stretch marks from pregnancy to think of them like a badge of pride (which you should) but equally if you have them on your arms and legs because you lost lots of weight or gained more muscle they are still marks showing you achievement.
There’s a lot more emphasis on social media about being more accepting of your body, it’s imperfections and being OK with not being perfect – stretch marks are really just another thing to accept as a normal part of your body doing what it does and serving you a purpose across your life.
Whilst I’m here by the way- cellulite. You know 80-90% of women have that too… I’d take a picture of that but it’s really hard to take a photo of the back of your own legs…